Entry NINETEEN

Allowed myself to wake up a bit late to catch up on sleep, even though I wasn't very sleepy last night. It caught up to me, unfortunately. Walked aimlessly around campus, letting myself to just go where ever, in an attempt to wake myself up and to cheer up (final fears are getting to me).

I would like closure, that's my new obsession with this deal, and I just want her to delete me off her list so I know for sure she's done. I want to know if she's done or just hurt by me. I don't get it and that's what bothering me- the unknown! Okay, since I'm the only one that reads this, it does hurt in the way that I'm waiting for Gareth to reply and I need someone to distract me until (hopefully) tomorrow.

I miss having that close knit circle of uni friends, but then again I do believe everything happens for a reason. In fact, I love having peace now, once I realized I couldn't be a Gareth and suddenly have all these "cool friends" and a potential boyfriend. He didn't until his last year, which gives me hope still, especially with more students next semester and the ability to get closer to those I already know.

LIFE HERE mmm, homemade sandwiches. first thing I've "made" since I've been belittled to make pb&j sandwiches with the lack of a kitchen or even kitchenette. Took mom's advice and the pains of hunger to drive myself to walk to IGA and buy cheese, ham, and spinach for a delicious and satisfying sandwich.

ADVICE Don't be afraid of your accent. No one else is, just speak! Then maybe the IGA girls will be nicer. Also, the trick is to say a comment, not to ask. Like for instance, Gillian told James on his facebook, "Let's have an economics party" to which he agreed and asked when. Finally, continue breaking habits such as drinking more tea and not using the dryer.

DISCOVERED "Shy people operate as if thy have a mirror in front of them all the time." Expose myself to new situations. If it's uncomfortable, don't run. Start with little conversations and then build. Sit by people regularly, and then talk. Talk, talk, talk (class, weekends, if first semester, etc).



What is with 8:22? I see that time ALL THE TIME. Is that reference to August 22? If so, what will happen then? Today I happened to catch it after I decided I couldn't fall asleep!