Stayed up the whole night and as I was walking to the mailbox to mail Kenny and Gaz's postcards, I realized that I was more awake with no sleep than I am with eight hours of sleep. The thunder claps just roar through, vibrating, making me wonder how I was ever afraid of such a beautiful sound.
The tute was uneventful, although he annoys me more and more and Melissa is so sweet to me. It was better because I was so tired I didn't care about him, and it helped although some of the time I couldn't focus and think.
Woke up after five hours and found his email with no feeling because I just don't care as much any more.
Why am I crying? Is it because I think he'll forget, despite him remembering and having it in his (old and maybe new) mobile, just because he hasn't mentioned it even though I have? Is it the deja vu of him forgetting last year? He's why I'm depressed. I've already written a draft if he forgets and if he's not loving, because fuck it. Why have someone around who doesn't appreciate me after all I do for him?
The tute was uneventful, although he annoys me more and more and Melissa is so sweet to me. It was better because I was so tired I didn't care about him, and it helped although some of the time I couldn't focus and think.
Woke up after five hours and found his email with no feeling because I just don't care as much any more.
Why am I crying? Is it because I think he'll forget, despite him remembering and having it in his (old and maybe new) mobile, just because he hasn't mentioned it even though I have? Is it the deja vu of him forgetting last year? He's why I'm depressed. I've already written a draft if he forgets and if he's not loving, because fuck it. Why have someone around who doesn't appreciate me after all I do for him?
Suddenly I feel better, not worrying about my birthday till it comes and realizing that I'll deal with it when it happens IF something happens.
Yeah, sounds like a good idea to me to, but Bron just raised the possibility that she might be going to Orange (and Mum maybe too), so it’d be easier if I could just hitch a lift with her over there (even if I feel like a break from her as well).
I’ve started to notice the nauseous pain in my intestines has become annoyingly frequent (almost constant…ouch). It feels a bit better today (hmm, just like I said, crap at the start of the week, slowly better by the weekend...?)
It looks like the AIS thing is slowly being strangled from both ends anyway, I no longer work Wednesdays either…apparently that was only a temporary two week thing (which’d be nice to have known earlier...I found out when I called to say I couldn’t make it this week again- using sickness as an excuse, not entirely convincing, but I hate to go into the yucky details). So that takes me down from about twelve hours a week to two! (including not working in the kitchen anymore (at least not until I tell them I feel like it again).
I’m getting through Harry Potter so slowly. I’ve just reached the point where Ron runs of like a little bitch.
You’d think she would’ve got the customs thing worked out by now- pumpkin seeds? Tell her to send a package of suspicious white powder, I want to see what happens.
I guess once this years over they’ll understand why your not drinking yourself stupid every week.
I don’t know, I’m living of chai at the moment, which I guess is warm milk just with a whole lot of crap thrown in. I can’t tell if it’s doing good or not…I think I’ll have to wait till I stop (you know, maybe it is the problem, but I like it too much!)
Anyway, tattoo parlor tomorrow evening, let’s see if I can’t repair this thing. Then hopefully of to Orange on Friday or something.
Hope your okay, treat yourself to a drink every now and then (especially since your getting your work done early!), and I’ll start brainstorming for work ideas…not very positive about that one though…
Bye,
Gareth
I’ve started to notice the nauseous pain in my intestines has become annoyingly frequent (almost constant…ouch). It feels a bit better today (hmm, just like I said, crap at the start of the week, slowly better by the weekend...?)
It looks like the AIS thing is slowly being strangled from both ends anyway, I no longer work Wednesdays either…apparently that was only a temporary two week thing (which’d be nice to have known earlier...I found out when I called to say I couldn’t make it this week again- using sickness as an excuse, not entirely convincing, but I hate to go into the yucky details). So that takes me down from about twelve hours a week to two! (including not working in the kitchen anymore (at least not until I tell them I feel like it again).
I’m getting through Harry Potter so slowly. I’ve just reached the point where Ron runs of like a little bitch.
You’d think she would’ve got the customs thing worked out by now- pumpkin seeds? Tell her to send a package of suspicious white powder, I want to see what happens.
I guess once this years over they’ll understand why your not drinking yourself stupid every week.
I don’t know, I’m living of chai at the moment, which I guess is warm milk just with a whole lot of crap thrown in. I can’t tell if it’s doing good or not…I think I’ll have to wait till I stop (you know, maybe it is the problem, but I like it too much!)
Anyway, tattoo parlor tomorrow evening, let’s see if I can’t repair this thing. Then hopefully of to Orange on Friday or something.
Hope your okay, treat yourself to a drink every now and then (especially since your getting your work done early!), and I’ll start brainstorming for work ideas…not very positive about that one though…
Bye,
Gareth
