Livejournal is down due to a power outage in San Fran, so I've been inspired to start a proper blog. This is where I should keep track of more of my feelings, rather than a simple "this is what I did today" kind of every-day-type of entry. This is also where I will try to develop my skills of photography.
Wellbeing
My body ached all over when I woke up this morning- that must mean that 30min-60min walks I started a few days ago are really getting my body into shape. I don't think I'm overweight...well, slightly. My jeans aren't falling of me as much, and my belly bulges with gas, and so I'm more conscience of how I look. The fact I live in "the sunshine state" doesn't help much either, since I'm surrounded by skinny girls who wear tight clothes.
Boys
I'm a bit worried about Gaz, but not really. It's been two days and I'm only "worried" since I crave so much attention from him. He makes me so happy and he makes living here that much more enjoyable. He's there to talk to when I have a problem and he knows me better than myself at times.
I love you as a friend still makes me happy, but it has yet to give me a giggling, warm, stomach-turning, kind of feeling. I think it's the way I read it. He was being pissy in reaction to the mean stuff I had said, so I wasn't in the right mood when I read it. BUT HE FINALLY SAID IT and I DIDN'T HAVE TO SAY IT FIRST.
Life Here
My nails have grown long. As much as the food can be repetitive and sometimes not to my liking, I love the variety I've never seen since my mom only knows how to cook five dishes. This is food heaven here. This room feels more like MY room, as if I never want to leave it. The bed is so big and sturdy so my back does not hurt. I was supplied with a pale green blanket that makes me smile when I see the beautiful color. Sometimes I love to detach my laptop from my desk and just lie on my bed to start typing or surfing. And my desk. I have a big desk unlike at home!
No rain means no rainbows, and I love the rainbows so. This state is true to its motto. Regardless, I feel safe here now. I feel much better now that the semester is coming to a close. Classes are not a chore and they are actually enjoyable, since that's when I get to be sociable. I do miss boys flirting with me and even chasing me, but I guess you can't have everything. Gareth and I are much closer, I feel comfortable here, and I have class friends, so all is pretty well so far. Maybe, just maybe, things will improve next semester. Maybe boys will start chasing after me!
My semester binder is almost full and it makes me feel accomplished to open it and see all that I have learned. It is also intimidating considering finals are approaching...fast. My new moleskine planner is also starting to bulge now that I've taken to printing out Gaz's emails and pasting them on the blank pages of each week. This way I can re-read his words when I get lonely, be it in class or waiting for class.
Advice
"No matter how careful you are, there's going to be the sense you missed something, the collapsed feeling under your skin that you didn't experience it all. There's that fallen heart feeling that you rushed right through the moments where you should've been paying attention.
Well, get used to that feeling. That's how your whole life will feel some day."
-Invisible Monsters
Travel
To be honest, just like with "I love you", traveling to Europe in January hasn't hit me yet. Maybe because I didn't plan on it and I was never one to get excited over Europe. I'm an Asia girl, by far. But regardless, I'm happy I get to check FIVE countries off my "Countries I've visited list" and those at LEC who had "Europe!" albums and statuses can be jealous that I've gone as well, on top of currently living in Australia. I can't hide that I've always been one to brag and one-up people I don't care much for.
Reading: The Old Man and the Sea
Days til Canberra: 24
