Entry SIXTY-SIX

Yet again, Michelle like most of the others, has never written a message despite being on my facebook for almost three years. I'm pleased, just shocked.

UNI CLASSWORK Stayed up the whole night, watching movies and working on my China paper. The more stressed out I become the less I sleep, but then I never get stuff done anyway. It's a vicious cycle.

BEST FRIEND emailed me a two-page email, something he hasn't had the ability to do for weeks and weeks now. It was such a nice surprise, especially how cute he is. Nothing really stood out except how much he cares about me. And how lovely it is how he tells me even the little things.

IM/Text/Email/Post/Call Elaine called about how she finished her accounting mid-term. See? We're getting there like Liz, but I just don't feel as close with her as I had with Liz.

Entry SIXTY-FIVE

This morning I went to mail Gaz's cheese and ran into Peter Megitt, the Communication lecturer, and he asked me to get a library book for him...thirty minutes before class. They're very personable here. It was a nice feeling to be important.

As written to Gaz: "My lecturer was there and he asked me to get a book out for him (they really *are* personable here...) and then he was doing the quirky banter that I've noticed a lot of people do here. You know how someone says something clever, and then the next person says something funny and they just go on and on? I wish I could do that."

No Gaz email, reply to mine sent my birthday night. He did say they were going down to Orange for a bit, but I don't remember when.



Post-AMERICAN BIRTHDAY I'm actually amazed, astonished, by the amount of American birthday wishes. I mean I only got one last year (from Betty) and but that's not the only thing-- where is Lisa?

Entry SIXTY-FIVE

IM/Text/Email/Post/Call Quarter til eight am and I saw "private no." flashing, instantly thinking it was mom, only to pick up be careful if not, and be semi-shocked it was Gaz to the point I didn't recognize it was him. "Happy Birthday!" he told me and he went on how he remembered this year, and later to say that he remembered last year but he was paranoid whether it was the forteenth or fifteenth. I was still surprised and so the conversation must've been weird to him at first, until I got out of the restraints of my room to the outside circle, where I sat and didn't care who saw me since I was cool and talking to my best friend. I started laughing a lot once I got outside and I noticed how he kept asking questions, so unlike him per our phone conversations back when I was at home. It must be the Canberra-love, how he suddenly started dominating the conversation and how much I loved how he took control for once, taking pressure off of me. Three hours! We haven't done that since...well, have we ever gotten that close? I know over two hours for sure, but maybe we did three hours back when we first parted or the time I wanted to tell him I loved him, but I was stalling. It was beautiful, fullfilling, put a skip in my step, made my day, and nothing could hurt me. I only hoped it was the same for him. There were moments where it slowed a bit and we weren't as enthusiastic, but he kept it going and even kept asking questions to my surprise. In the old I would be the one rambling and so for this, it was satisfying. Three hours! He had to go to the bathroom a second time, so we let each other go. I was just so excited.

To think of it: I didn't even call him on his this year, only the last, and here he is calling ME. He could've just emailed, but he's a TRUE friend.

While he was on the phone, out of no where I got the idea for him to choose the salad I would order, which ended up being a nice birthday treat from him, sort of like a gift. The chef in him is so good. While I was sitting there I didn't see James until it was too late and when the woman called, "Jennifer" James gave me his sneaky look, but I don't know why? What did I do? Was he flirting? He couldn't have been upset at me.

Jenny decorated my door, which was great, so that way my dormies knew it was my birthday. Althought I later ran into Jillian who didn't stop to talk, but smiled and looked at me nicely with a "Hey!".

IM/Text/Email/Post Bear seemed excited I was sending him his cheese, and when I went to buy the box for it, I found my first postcrossing postcard.

Besides a run in with the quirky-remarkable-talkable Ashnita, my birthday was uneventful after Gareth. Meh, it's no Hargraves, but Gaz stepped it up big time!

Entry SIXTY-FOUR

OLD My stomach feels sick, gurgly, and larger than usual, begging me to pay attention to it, when I see old Hargraves students on facebook. I see their fun photos, remembering when I used to share those times, and how I will never have that back again. I see them happy, wondering if they even remember me.

Pre- AUS-BIRTHDAY Elaine texted me and asked me what I was doing for dinner, and when I told her fish and chips, she asked to meet me at the Brasserie. I didn't get it. But then she surprised me with a bar of chocolate and wished me a happy birthday. She thought of me! And so that made me feel good, and but then I have to learn to calm my true feelings. I had told her in the text I was going to get Fish and Chips- I didn't want the Brasserie. Why don't people listen? And I get frustrated and it shows.

On the way I ran into Matt, the BBQ guy, who wished me a happy birthday and said he had knocked on my door to see if I wanted to come. That made me feel important. But I must've messed it up by not going.

Since he hasn't mentioned it in his email about my birthday, I plan to call tomorrow at 10am if I don't here from him:
1. tomorrow night call him: bitch him out.
I'm surprised you didn't remember my birthday....well, not really because you didn't care with my first one (remember telling me that?) and the second one you completely forgot about even though I hinted so many times like this time. I was crying the day before knowing you would when I read your email and you didn't mention anything.

2. BE NICE; bear, did you forget or did you irgnore me? ght i don't now what to do with you. my first, second, now third. you owe me one kickass surprise, you got me?

3. Hi handsome bear, guess what today was?


IM/Text/Email/Post
Hmm...hmm...that's a tough one (still haven't heard from the red cross people since...doesn't sound promising). Yeah, it's a pain, but in the end, unless an amazing job jumps into my lap in the next week or two, I guess I'll have to go through the whole centrelink thing all over again...huff.

Now that's something you'll be able to enjoy (at least you should be able to), big, fat, CHEAP mangos, and lots of them. They were five dollars each in Canberra the other day, and they were the crap ones!

Kids always stare at me in trains...it's scarey, especially when they're a foot away from you. Good thing is I'm home, but still in the middle of the getting better phase (I hope...sore throat and nose are gone though, so that's a step in the right direction).

No you weren't bad, just like I said, if you were like that, I probably would've decided to just watch the TV. But I didn't, because your not.

Is she the sort you can just bug and bug to change their mind, I've never been to a theme park, but I wouldn't want to go on my own, hey! maybe that guy!...no, no, just kidding.

What's a double rainbow? Two rainbows on top of each other?

Ah, lucky for me you don't miss what you don't know, always living on campus and all...then again though, I did enjoy the bus ride back from the AIS...but that could've been a bad sign.

I hate to think how bad the house's going to smell to me when I get back after being away...my nose won't be used to it anymore. It'll smell so badly.

You may as well go to the barbeque, I know exactly what you mean by the whole stressed thing, but at the same time I always hate myself later for chikening out and not going.

Anyway, I'll let you know how the whole being home thing goes (going to be early is the greatest thing in the world)

Bye bye,

Gareth.

Depression sucks and I slept until 11:30pm and found this which was sent shortly after 8pm, not really expecting one, but assuming I would get one considering he was at home with free internet. It made me extremely happy, gave me enough energy, and pepped me up overall. Although no mention of my birthday, his tone was beautiful and I loved how joking he was, something he hasn't been in a while. Therefore, I decided that if he gave me no notice on my birthday, then I would be nice and call with a kind tone. BEST FRIEND I don't want to lose him. I can't lose him. He makes it all better. He's my only close friend in the world.