Entry FOUR

LIFE HERE and ADVICE IGA, I dread it. It's small, it has one cashier, and the cashier is young. Generally young here means that don't accept. I walked in, started from the right as usual, past the fresh veggies and dairy and soup. I made my way to the cooler in the back for pop...soda...and then worked my way from the next aisle- the chocolate. Then came the time to approach the young girl, taller than me, and to say hi. I was kinder this time, didn't make snap judgement despite my previous encounter with her, and I didn't act like I was bored. I smirked, "Yeah, it's smudge" and she replied, "just a little," with a smile as she handed it back to me. Be nice, that's my advice to myself. Be nice, no matter what previous encounters you've had.

Two hours until yet another long group meeting and I had a great orgasm. Afterwards I felt so good, so brilliant, so fulfilled. Then the phone rang again, twice today, and it has been randomly a few times this month. Mom's the only one with the number, so who could it be?

UNI RESIDENTS The eighteen year olds, the nickname I made for the boys in the bungalows, whom I think are all younger than me, decided to play there weekend rubgy. This time though I kept hearing the kicks and knowing what was coming only to be satisfied with loud gun-shot bangs as the ball hit my wall. I wanted to scream, "Do you suck that much, or are you aiming for my bungalow side?" An hour to my meeting I gave up as they hit it five times and I ventured to the outside. One kicked before I arrived and one said, "We weren't aiming for you," as I stared ahead and kept walking. I wanted to reply, "No, but you were aiming for the side of my bungalow, right?"

I swear, it's a song. I knew the song the bell tower of the uni was playing, but I couldn't place it. Then after ten minutes of not thinking of it, I found myself singing, "The bear went over the mountain." Where did that come from? Oh...that was the song!

UNI CLASSWORK Be late, I told myself. I paced. I can never be late. It's something in me since...forever...where I have to be extremely early. Two minutes to I walked over and I was still the second one there and I wish I had forced myself to be a bit more late like Steve (fifteen minutes) or Paco (an hour and a half).

I'm weak. I worry. I get lonely. Therefore I decided against my best judgment to email him a kind "I'm in a boring meeting" email. He told me he loves me, he's done this before with nothing wrong, but it's just that I get worried. Worried, and lonely, and I love hearing from him. It's been five days, so that's why.

My intenstines started to be gassy, so I ran to my room in the middle of the meeting to try to alleviate it, but it only worked temporarily. Is it because I'm stressed and worried? I despise my gas problems. It causes so many problems. Embarrassing and I have to miss out of things. Making noises and trying to hold it in and trying to explain it- all since I was twelve.

UNI RESIDENTS Victoria spotted us in our big windowed group room and started hiding and reappearing, smirking, and waving, just like Liz used to do to me in Hargraves. She's very playful for her age and I'm glad we're friends. I wish she was in her twenties, but oh well. She thinks of me, helps me, and calls me lovely.

LIFE HERE "Realize is the only one with a zed?" "What? I always use a S." I was right and an Aussie was wrong- how strange.

I was watching a youtube video of Big Brother UK and noticed how strange their accent sounds! What? I've been living here so long that not only is the Aussie accent "normal", but now the "normal" English accent is no more.