Entry FIVE

LIFE HERE My ATM card didn't work, so I ran to town to find the lonely ATM broken. The stress came to me and I started freaking out. No Gaz and a boring, but beautiful town, made me feel lonely again. I need friends here, but it's difficult to get close to any of the girls my age. It's difficult and I'm honestly not trying that hard either, though. That and worrying about what's going to happen after this- will I be able to stay? Have to go forever?

Big Brother 07 is ending, also known as the Aussie one, and so I'm going to force myself to get addicted to Big Brother 8 (the American one) again since I can't be home to watch my summer guilty pleasure.

This is what it's like to start over again, but with a new culture mixed in. Yes, I've done this before, but this time it's harder since I'm trapped. My best friend is a state away, this dorm is not easy to force oneself to be surrounded by people, and I didn't start with a international group like last time. Excuses, excuses, excuses. I know.

Too much alone time but at least I'm realizing what it's really like now before I'm out of uni. At least I know what it's like to live without your established friends and your family. I'm doing fine, and some days I want to cry, but otherwise I'm staying strong. I haven't left yet.

UNI CLASSWORK This is called subtle panic. Uneasiness. I've done some work on OB to try to finish it, but the presentation is starting to freak me out now. Will Steve be nicer this time? Did I do the right research?

BEST FRIEND, READING Stressed. Fat. Locked in. Bored. Same environment. So I walked to the circle, where the buses come, and then walked to the lake by the Lakeside Grille. I was sad about Gaz. Started reading Franny and Zooey again, realizing it's so much like me and Gaz. The little tiffs. Him eating Octopus. Me crying over little things. God I love that boy. I hope he emails me soon.

I'm dreaming about him, picking him up in Hopkins, and driving him home to show him how life is there. "I might stop being so self-centred and make it out to America some day not to far away…stranger things have happened (first stop Chicago/Maine somewhere?)."

CULTURE Hungry stomaches mean you'll do what you wouldn't do normally. It lead me to the Fish & Chip shop where I happily was served by two very nice and smiley high school girls. Giggling. All it takes is an opening line and a big smile from the start!


READING: Franny and Zooey
DAYS TIL CANBERRA: twenty ("That's fucking awesome!")