Entry TWO-HUNDRED-TWENTY-SEVEN

UNI RESIDENTS Some random was in the classroom when I arrived and would not leave until Toby showed and he got the idea, or was just not as ballsy any more. Either way I said hi to Toby and we were chatting and joking around, and he's not so bad. Yes, he has many friends whom he uses when he pleases, but for my purposes I feel the same way towards him. So it's mutually beneficial really.

The nice South African-NZ-Australian entered and we were all having fun, but then class started. But wait, it was actually fun today! I was called to the board to mark a line, unsure, and May helped me and the boys laughed nicely. When I was finished I walked back and Toby and Mike clapped, they all smiled, and I took a bow. It was funny. I like being fun as such.

May already has our entrepreneurship group chosen, so that leaves my HRM class. Amazing how I have it chosen way ahead of time, but it feels good to know I don't have to worry.

UNI CLASSWORK we had a group lunch, minus Shivang, and it was so uncomfortable. The best part was Megan, cool Bra worker, going, "About time!" when she went to grab the take-away and I told her no this time. It was just so awkward, and besides Ying playing back American stereotypes innocently, at least she kept up the mood. She has to learn that unless she goes to a country, what she hears is not necessarily true.

On the way to meet Shivang it was like a mini-group meeting on the steps. This is the socialness fun of Bond. Pass people, say hi, stop and chat, and feel good. It was me, Ying, Ines, "Fish" (South African above), Shivang, and later Arthur and Stephen. Stephen just said, "Marketing meeting?" and was an asshole passing. He just used Shivang for Finance and then kept walking. Best part was Toby passing and waving only to me and Fish saying see ya to me.

YING she may lack commonsense but she has one thing going for her: she's not afraid to interview people and ask people to do surveys. So she got our research for us, since none of us had the guts to do it. I congratulated her and she just beamed.

DISCOVERED this is like a re-discovery. Aussie men like to call me Jenny, especially my male professors here. I should go by it.

END Liz and I are officially over for good. She deleted her MSN. So goodbye to the Liz friendship, even though I knew it was over when I ended it in December 2006. She came back to me, and I was nice, but she wasn't as loving. So that's when it just died off. In her own famous words: Meh.

Entry TWO-HUNDRED-TWO

I slept until 3pm again, and he hadn't checked his email as of 5pm. So either he is gone or he is ignoring my email. If he ignores my email, then I will call in two weeks about my book and my money, on a Tuesday. Question is, that discussion with friends and family was a month old. That last month he's been in close contact with me, so it must be a heated thing like I've done. And it's true anyway. But he must've been upset like I was, and that neither of us want to part, but that we just have to deal with it. And why would he be semi-decent in his last email to me if he friends emails were like that? So the question still is, is he ignoring me now?

Entry TWO-HUNDRED-ONE

I slept from 5am to 5pm. It felt great, but that's how depressed I am. I'm better though! I smiled once I got out of my bungie. I realized that I have Jess and Betty, and that I just have to put up not emailing him (which is a chore) and not receiving birthday wishes. Importantly I did discover that I am too anal, that I take it out on him in the wrong way, and I need to calm down with my friendships.

I especially felt better when it was dinner and Mike was there to smile at me. Life does go on.

*The big question now: "Why did he ignore my email on Tuesday?" He hasn't checked his mail since Thursday/Friday, so he must be in Sydney.

*Think of now. Yes, he badmouthed me, but with reason. If he didn't like me (he called himself a wanker and said he felt weird reading it), then he wouldn't have continued emailing me. Like he said, he's lonely. And it was MY choice to leave.

*So wait till Sunday/Monday to see if no response and then just email that snarky one asking for my things. Don't wait around this time.

Entry TWO-HUNDRED

Well, Gareth must be gone. I was so nervous when I woke up at 1pm thinking that I was going to throw up. So nervous I didn't want to check my email in case he didn't reply, but I thought I'd take it slow. I woke bring it up to see if I had anything but not look who it was from. So 1 email, that's good right, because who emails me besides him? And yet, there it was, one from JESS! Augh, so I freaked out, cried, and can barely eat. I sent him another asking if he's okay, but who knows. He must be gone. Really, though, his last email didn't seem it. The only iffy part was the end where he seemed to give up if I wanted to. Otherwise it sounded like he wanted to continue on. We have plans and he said he could ask his dad for money to come up here. So what the fuck?


Apparently I need to either lay off him or let him go. At this point I'm so mad that I want to let him go. Yes, I figured out his password from what he mentioned a long time ago and I managed to get it [in case I forget: beatrix]. Wait to see what I found!:

-[to sam] miss you, love you as much as ever

-Jen ( the American friend came down, and just about burnt my brain out yet again (no surprises)

-Nothing much really going on. Had a friend down from the Gold Coast for a couple of weeks (exhausting, she's at least ten times as neurotic as me),

-I guess I'll be looking for some part time/casual work at the same time I've got my RSA, so I guess I can always look into a few bars or pubs to see what's available there. I promised Jen I'd head to Thailand in...Semptember I think it is, so I have to start saving my pennies (which I've never been able to do up until now, so it's not looking great just yet). I guess I could have said no, but emotional blackmail was involved, apparently I don't find the time to go anywhere, where as every one else does...but I kind of think it's less to do with taking the time and more to do with the lack of saving which has been deciding all of that (I'd go everywhere if I could).

But anyway, that's probably why I seemed a bit distant at christmas, Jen was staying over, and if I'm shy, then she is something else (and easily offended too, I don't know whether that's an American trait? So I was a bit concerned about what emotional beating I was going to be taking if I was gone to long...which is a bit weird because we're just friends, a fact which has been worked out well and truely by now). That and of course the tension Bron has a habit of causing, it was much easier this time around, but still a bit of snapping at each other.

-[sent to what? about me? Oh! he talked to her on the phone...]
'I don't like her...? All it is is petty fights and bitching about nothing (I have to admmit this involves the two halves), maybe it's the drink talking (evidently I'd had a drink at the time), just frustration I guess that we both want someone, but we honestly know that it's definitely neither of us (atleast I hope she does...hmm, but then I've explained it enough...I think?). I'm not sure I even like her at all, but I can't tell her anything like that...the biscuits worked by the way...I think I'm more than just a bit of a wanker'...it feels weird reading it afterwards.

-It'll always be a fight just to stay friends with Jen, that's just the way it is (the positive I can take out of it is we're not around each other much). Things will never 'turn out' anymore than they ever have before. Apparently I snore most nights...my greatest fears aleays come true!