Friday, 15 August 2008

art woke up and texted,
mike saw,
stephen joined- unlike past, our class stayed below,
walked in and saw joey,
in row, aslihan smiled and thumbs up,
on way out: WOW!, saw vishen and andrea smile,
after exam: tim talked to about it and soo nice and yet only time?,
joey again and said miss and a shame back home,
then as went stephen, mike caught me: mike in pda, aw!
stephen foiund in room and make nervous, he said must like me (mike),
i paid lunch, sooo fast talk and skin hot and upset and puke,
mom called and calmed, maybe because no bond or leave uni?,
talked with guy about weather to uni, so cute ginger, too and love aussie do that miss,
weird how no tip,
then he bought mango ice craem,
beach but don't care if stare, PHOTOS cute (GET THEM),
htne back and in library-- room as if brand new and it's freaky,
then feel relief that they are studying and I'm not.
small hiccup, then HUGE hiccup two hours later.
toby came by and said goobye to me. sat down all excited and dramatic. invited me to pam's party.

Thursday, 14 August 2008

So what megan said to me,
how spent all day with them and realized stephen helped a LOT,
stephen said helene said I could stay (but also, huh?!),
they departed and felt soo lonely, like i needed tem since i was afraid of exam,
dinner was so empty and calm and lovely.

o= laughed at quirks in a good way. my noises and sayings. i loved studying with aussie with aussie sayings for once. maybe realize end?
o=studied and nervous, but not so much. didn't want to stay up...

Wednesday, 13 August 2008

day with art and stephen:
started off fine and ended fine. kept hugging me and kissing head.
"he's gettign closer now that he sess the end"- gaz getting clingy
stephen ought me chips!

for some reason i was walking on the path. saw mike but ignored. "hi, you" and he followed, slow walked. i table stand, HE sat.

1.5 first half, 15min second half
South Africa
Cultural differences

"people here just use each other, not real friends" "why say using me." gave me a smirky comeon look. flirt like. "would you keep in contact with me?" "never see again, a few eamils" hard to tell if wants to and being realistic or not.

told one of few i can talk to here.

5 cigs. shaking, i asked if cold and study now. and that's why cut short.

ellito stopped and talked to us. exams?

"you'll see me after the exam if you don't run off. sem bash? you'll see me there"

Monday, 11 August 2008

-mom woke me up
-got up and got text from arthur-- by himself. wanted to leave, but read gaz.
-gaz! laugh soooooooooooo hard. he's being more loveydovey for some reason. answered some qs, too. non-stop laugh and he emailed twice for no reason. soooo cute.
-lunch. dead! mike maybe "aw?" asked about studying and paper. then he weird look since i laughed about him joing me and art and my laugh...? but he was still nice. meh. don;t think too much of him anymore since x2.
-stephen in. told worried about how uptight i was. guam girl!
-stephen in. told worried about how uptight i was. guam girl! got a picture of our picture
-then amy-- aw! she talk of writing and we so nice. then chat afterwards about newie.


Hello Hello,

If wine tours are fun then YES- but you're spot on (not that it’s hard to work out, I’ll always be a beer person- although I seem to be developing quite an impressive wine cellar now and it looks like I'll have to steal my dad'sd other bottles of whatever if the she devil's anything to go by!). Seems to be a lot of philosophical life’s conversations going on at the moment to (seems if I’ve got the chance to’ escape’ anytime soon I should jump at it- oh, and by the way, if anything I write seems hard to de-cipher I’ve decided to try the drinking approach to sleeping tonight because I haven’t had much success lately, and I’m a little desperate- I’m trying to zone out watching either the Olympics/Miller’s crossing (which I’ve been trying to find for a while, but only just have- Oh, and PS, if there’s any way I can get to America somehow you know I’ll honestly take it!- along with anywhere else…even if that pisses you off!!!).

Actually that’s pretty easy, can’t really go wrong with El, that way I can stuff up with Ellie or Ella (it’s becoming a bit more frequent- I don’t think anyone notices, but I do it so much lately). Easier than trying to think up something for each. I think I’m getting better with kids actually, almost enough to want my own…ALMOST.

They (the two grown ups) seem desperate to drag you along here when you turn up in Newcastle, but I think a dinner or lunch is well and truly enough. They can be just a little bit over whelming, and soppy to the point of nausea. So I’ve suggested a quick vineyard lunch (note suggestion, which leaves a nice easy escape clause, and means it’s simple enough to avoid it all together! Just the way I’ve planned it.

I so hope I can get to that Tokyo Aquarium in the end (or beginning), I’ve been exited about that ever since I heard about it (I’m currently a good bunch of drinks through, so I’m impressed this email’s making any sense at all! (if it is of course).

Grandma has to go through the same annoying routine every night. Can you imagine me kissing anyone asleep? Well, that’s pretty much the routine. It’d be cute in a way, but it just becomes a pain in the arse in the end.

I keep looking at the travel section of the newspaper- I’ve been naughty and spent about a hundred bucks on beer and wine today, so I’ve got about two and a half grand tucked away right now (with as decent cellar on the way- a good pile of wine- if only I felt anything like I do about it eight years ago than I do now, uni then might have been useful…but it’ll end up being embibed anyway- honestly with all of the typing errors, it’s taken at least an hour extra to write this damn thing).

What else? Hmm, ummmmmm, well, just ticking off each day as it comes, and that’s as exciting as it gets…can’t wait till you land and the fun can start again (and that means you definitely have to do what you want to…because I don’t care where whatever money I even have goes, because it’ll just go somewhere useless if I don’t use it anyway!!!! PLEASE DO WHAT YOU WANT!!!! Believe me, that makes me happy (even if it goes the same way for you);

I’m proud of myself, since the last time you saw me my hair has still been allowed to be free- no hair cuts. I’m almost convinced I can go two years without a cut (it’s nice and black still too- I might have a boiling hot shower before bed…sleeeeeeeeep!!!!

Damn, you’re right, I seriously cannot remember reading the kids book in the library (I must have been in a funny mood- honestly, I can’t actually pinpoint anything much from uni, sadly…just pointless random stuff like always.

If you want to go back to Bathurst again, we’ll go, I’m happy to. In a strange way, It’d be fun and I’d be happy to…after all, you did spend a good six months there, it’d be fun to see what it’s like I think (honestly, there’s an urge to go back to Bathurst that I want to satisfy too…even if I’m scared to bump into someone I might know, so it’s not crazy really).

But anyway…If I’m lucky the trick’ll work- I’ll sleep (one more drink!). I keep getting up at six for some reason ( I need to change time zones!!!).

Popcorn and movies are a given! But at least one you have to choose what you want, and I’ll try not to criticize! I’m slowly becoming a bit more easy going that way…I think.

I guess we’ve got no travel plans, but it’s king of a dream of mine just to turn up where ever we might end up going and never have to go back.

It’s stupid, I haven’t been this light for literally ten years (I’m a miget, even if a can’t see it) but I still feel large???( I’m fine though, no worries…don’t role your eyes!). Funilly though, whenever I weigh a kilo heavier, I feel bad/guilty for some reason. Honestly, we probably weigh the same. The kids are fascinated by the door knocking noises I can make on my chest/hip/shoulder….

I agree, I’m good at planning, but only really short term. I’m good at just saying ‘okay, tomorrow/next week this is what where doing, but planning ahead, actually being properly organized? No hope…it takes too much responsibility, I’m so happy to leave that to you!

And just as an aside, the two here (dad and lady) seem kind of desperate to have some kind of get together. So far I’ve only gone as far as to say it is a tiny possibility that we could go out to lunch/dinner some time in the next few weeks. But it leaves the easy option of avoiding it all together (which I’ve done purposely, so we don’t need to worry about it). They’re, or can be, a bit full on, even if they are kind of loving (kind of Liz like I guess). But then you’d probably like them a bit more than mum, even if they might be a bit annoying. I like mum more, even though she’s a bit emotionally retarded!

Personally, I think if it was somehow (unrealistically) possible, I’d be satisfied with continuous adventure from the seventeenth onwards…never ending. (I’m going to attempt to sleep all day through tomorrow (which has become today)…I don’t like my chances, but it’s possible.

By the time you get down I’ll have pretty much three grand sitting my account, which I have no problem spending! What can we do with it?

I’ve noticed the occasional day when I just get pissed off at the kids. Their dad put so much effort into dinner tonight, and was self critical about the results (he kept on going on about how much he stuffed up. But it was great). But the kids wouldn’t touch it. I cool down after a while though. I like the fact I’m the last they say goodnight to (almost).

My dad is snoring like a grizzly bear…how the hell anyone put up with it (mind yo I can hear Grandma doing the same from my room!

I think your mum’ll get over the excitement of having you back after a little bit. After all, my mum still gets kind of happy when I pop in. And then gets over it pretty quickly. But after all, you’ve been on the side of the planet so she’s bound to miss you a bit, and I’d miss my mum too (for about a week, and then get sick of her…by the way, I ask how much it costs to get over there because I think it’d be fun, but I don’t know how I’d keep it going…families something, but now days that’s all I’ve got here, otherwise that’s it!).

You’ve always seemed to be able to get away from family clinginess in the end anyway, so I don’t think it’ll be a problem. When it gets to the boring/annoying point, I doubt you’ll have any problem moving on. Buy the way, whenever I say I just want to disappear/disconnect from my life and go somewhere totally different, it doesn’t mean I want to do it by my self!

I realized today how scared I’d still be talking to your mum even over the phone (like she'll be dissapointed in me or something), meaning don’t worry, you definitely don’t need to meet my dad and partner anytime if you don't really feel like it...I don't care.

(it’d probably be a pain in the derriere anyway [it’d be so much easier just mucking around in Greta like always- unless you’ve got some crazy idea to meet the other side of the family!- the kids are leaving the day you come!]).

Ew, Chicago! Sounds good!

This is the first half of the email- the second half comes tomorrow (I’ll tell you how sleeping goes tonight (honestly, my dad is snoring like a chainsaw in the next room, and I’ll be just the same in twenty years!!! God I can’t wait! Addmitedly he drinks like...a fish! Even though he's nice, and geeky).

Wow, six/seven more days and we’ll be mucking around…I’ll finish this off tomorrow, when I’m a little less sleepy (it is 2:30 after all!) See you (so so soon, I'm actually nervious),



Email part two (as promised)-

Drink all that, and I’m still up at seven in the morning! Huff. But at least it leaves plenty of time for scone and pancake making.

Oh well, if it wasn’t a long sleep, it was definitely a deep one. I think that makes up the difference. So because I haven’t done it at all so far, I feel like spending the day glued to the Olympics…or if not then, finally getting around to watching those videos I’ve borrowed. I haven’t really gotten around to them, just because they’re just a bit too MA/R rated to watch around little kids.

Invisibility cloak close to reality!?! I want one of those.

What else am I doing? Hmm, um, I’ve got some sort of appointment to go to on Tuesday for centrelink (well technically not for centrelink, but it was organized through them). Apparently it’s supposed to help with job hunting and all of that (I’ve got my doubts, but we’ll wait and see). And that’s pretty much it, my day is kind of set out.

My hair seems to be providing a world of fun. I never thought it could be so interesting, but it’s being pulled this way and that on a daily basis. I’ve hit the breaking point that always comes about now- to cut it or leave it still (usually I give in and get it scissored, but I think I’ll stay strong this time around!).

The brussel sprouts seem to be recovering though- hmm, talking about soup and brussel sprouts, that sounds kind of good for lunch today. Definitely home made soup! (steak and kidney soup, hmmmm).

That also means American Samoa would count to…oh and every single US embassy anywhere in the world! Technically that’s still the US, just think of that. Italy, Fiji…Iceland.

I’ve hit a button somewhere and all of the writing has decided it wants to be italic!?

There we go, all fixed.

If only we could all live completely guilt free like she does…it must be so relaxing and stress free not caring. I really hope he works out his marking ob a basis of individual marks rather than group marks. Jeez, he sounds like a total pain in the arse, but I think I wouldn’t have had the guts to confront him over giving me a bad mark either. I’ve never really been able to do that.

Hooray, it’s going to be a quiet day. The kids are all going to the swimming pool, so I can flop about without having to answer endless what and why questions! It’s sunny, I might do some washing.

The ads always go on about how amasing tinned soup is now days, I think a couple of those’d do! Just throw in a bucket of MSG and they’ll shovel it down (that seems to be the way, so much MSG!). Or you could experiment with cakes and microwaves (that is if you’ve even got a microwave!).

I’ll try to, but I’m glad to say I’ll need the break from kids when they head off on Sunday! Kid saturation….

Time for the Olympics! Hmm, what to put in the soup?....

See you in a few more days…and hope you have a good idea what to spend all this money I seem to have built up on.



Beer tours sound good, but wine tour...hmm, not as enticing for some reason (not that I wouldn't, but I know which I'd choose first).

So much energy! Different from this morning. "You didn't pay your activity fees." Just smiles.

Betty, May, Gaz x2, Jess.

Rest in gmail.

+found it first, but giggle through in with art. art said he told all about then, well yeah. art jealous how long the emails were. then youtube, check if email, but GAZ again :)! acting like BF...

Sunday, 10 August 2008

Entry ?

BUDDHISM- for once this astrology stuff is making sense.

LIBRA "I Balance"
September 23rd - October 23rd
Ruler: Venus.
Zodiac: 7th House
Body parts ruled by Libra include the lower back, kidneys, and adrenal glands.

"There's never going to be a dull moment for you this month. Life runs rampant between chasing your long-term goals to trying to seperate fact from fiction as a friend or close loved one may send you on an emotional roller coaster. By the end of the month, moderation will come at a welcome relief."

DREAMS I had another dream about Mike. This time he was driving me, Jess, and his girlfriend in his 20 year old red car somewhere. For some reason we were in Lake Catholic, my old high school, and for some reason his car is surrouneded by people who are in love with him. Next thing I'm running to his car and getting his sister's stuff...even though he doesn't have a it must be his girlfriend. Then Jess is yelling at me for parking so far away.

It was bizzare.

UNI RESIDENTS Mike wasn't in a happy mood, but I don't worry myself about that. It's stress and I get that easily enough. So I made a comment at the end to which he had this big smile on his face and he said, "See ya" in a very happy tone.

Now, just so I don't forget. Darrell's the manager at the brasserie, a real asshole. He doesn't like women since he's gay and he especially treats me like filth. So I do the same to him. We won't speak to each other and I make a point of being nasty to him. At least this way he gets that I hate him and his attitude towards me doesn't affect me much.

Saturday, 9 August 2008

Entry ?

Nothing. I hid in my room and stressed about my HRM final, trying to finish it. I never put things off...oh how things change at the end.

Friday, 8 August 2008

LITTLE PLEASURES I spent the third day studying with the boys, and it was just as fun as the previous ones. Even though I argue in the US's favor a lot (per how we have lower wages - "We have a low cost of living", how we can't walk as much - "Our country is not set up that way", and how we don't get our 10 year old kids drunk - "Why should we do it just because Europeans say so? If it's not right for us, then it's not"), if never does any harm. I think Stephen loves how I argue in fact. I stand up for myself.

Stephen was really touchy, even though he always is. It makes me feel loved actually.

Lunch was fun as well. Megan told me to go bother Mike, that he was hiding by the cooler, since she knew I wanted to get my dessert. I went over and looked down, "Come on Mike, I don't have all day" I joked. He got up and said, "Hey, how are you?" I told him a chocolate cake and he got me two without me asking for it, which I thought was sweet. He's not supposed to and yet he did for the second time this week.

And then May sent me a third facebook flower, which I thought was sweet of her. Always thinking of cute things to do, like Liz and Franzi used to do.

Thursday, 7 August 2008

Entry ?

UNI CLASSWORK I spent the morning and afternoon studying with the boys in our old IFM room. Notably, not much. It was just fun. I walked in and Arthur said, "I was wondering where bubbly Jen was." Aw. So we were studying, talking sense and non-sense, and just having fun. I've noticed lately that my stomach aches so bad if I don't much that I have to countdown to when lunch is. Maybe nerves? Anyway, when I went to get lunch I felt great as if I own this place and walked back up to eat my burger. But lately Arthur's getting weird again. He keeps trying to get me to sit close to him. He repeatedly pulled my chair towards his, and I finally had it. I joked it, but he knew I was serious. I got up and walked away, "See! Now you pushed me even further away!" He needs to learn anyway.

In the bathroom I ran into Aslihan, our professor, and we made really nice small talk. I enjoy her. And when I got back in, Stephen and Arthur and I exchanged contact information. Apparently Stephen's going to miss me. He still wants me to stay for this professional degree.

DINNER Mike was at the dessert section. "One or two?" he asked me....because he knows he owes me. Then I talked about studying, he talked about Neva, etc. "I'll keep in touch," he said. "Yeah, because you need to use me," I said back. You can't be too clingy, now can you?

Wednesday, 6 August 2008

Entry ?

EMAIL (a cut down version of just the paragraphs I like):
"I’ve decided to write out a whole new email. I had one written out a few days ago, but that’s a bit old now, so it’s only fair…even if there’s not much to add.   Bit old now?  I wonder what it said, but it's sweet that he wanted to write me a new one.  And this proves that he drafts emails like I do.

Ah cool, I was hoping you’d have a nice big list of things. If you left to much of that down to me it’d be hopeless. All I’m good at these days seems to be what the next meal’s going to involve. So we’ll actually have to do some of the stuff you want to in the end.  So I'm the organizer in our friendship, yay.  I know he means it to, which is cute.  But what does he mean by "some of the stuff" and "you want"?
So far everything on the list gets a big tick, so I bet everything else does too. Hopefully ticket prices stay low, ‘cause that’d be really fun (plus you’d get to see somewhere you haven’t been after so long again instead of Newcastle or Sydney (we always turn up there in the end).  So he's say that he likes the list I came up with, and that anything else I come up with does as well?  So he doesn't want to commit to Tassy by buying tickets, but he does want to go?
Cool, Tokyo aquarium (you’ll have to twist my arm on Tokyo disney). Harujiku? Is that what it’s called…and the old traditional areas to.  So he wants me to go to Tokyo with him down the road for real I take it?

That makes it eleven days- a week and a half…that’s almost tomorrow. Not long now.  I said only 14 more days, which means he realizes the time difference of when I wrote and is noting it. Is he saying this for me or for him?
And as exciting as it is, that is everything for now…maybe we’ll head to dinner sometime this weekend…I don’t know, but if I actually do something, your sure to know.  I'm sure to know.  Of course I am.
See you in a few days.(you’re so close to finishing!)."  I giggled at this.  I think he's really excited.  So going home to the US instead of seeing him last break was an awesome idea in the end.  

amei, art visit, ash diss but now out of my life

DREAMS  house fire one

CHANGE  "So there were some deer on the runway and my flight was delayed.  And then there was this freak snow storm.  Sorry I'm late."

Tuesday, 5 August 2008

Entry ?


Friends (AUS)
  • Gareth!
  • Ash...
  • Mike...
  • Stephen...
  • Arthur...
  • May...

Friends (US)
  • Kristen
  • Betty...
  • Christina...
  • Jess...
AUS lifestyle:
  • No car
  • Expensive food and clothing
  • I can't even go shopping alone
  • I would have to live with someone else
  • People are nice and yet obnoxious
  • No family
  • But I have Gareth
  • Good reputation
  • Clean air, but HOT air
  • So isolated and boring...did everything just about
  • Has plenty of jobs
  • Good pay, but expensive living
  • Not so powerful, but no killings (supposedly)

US lifestyle:
  • I have a car
  • Food is so cheap, as well as clothing (which is styles I like)
  • I can go shopping alone
  • I don't have to live with someone
  • People are nice, obnoxious, but just like me
  • I have my family
  • But I have Betty (ugh) and Kristen 
  • Bad reputation, and yet they fucking love us
  • Cleanish air, but I don't even notice + colder weather (nice)
  • Soooo much to do
  • Still has good jobs
  • Not as good pay, but fucking cheap living
  • We're powerful -> Our power may be dying, but then others die too
Overall, I'm going to be happier in the US.  The only thing that will bother me is knowing that undeserving people will live in Australia (because I WANT TO LIVE IN ANOTHER COUNTRY) and that most importantly...Gareth.  But, we have such a strong friendship that I can withstand only emails and seeing him every year.  We're so strong that he'll forever be my friend and we'll see each other for sure.

I've lost Betty and Jess, but really does it matter much?  If I have Kristen down the street, I'll be okay.  And with a job I can make new friends.  And if it doesn't work out, there's Gareth to go running to or another city.

UNI CLASSWORK  it was my last presentation ever.  Ever, ever, ever.  I was there early, followed by a few people I don't really talk to, then Nash who was a struggle (he just stares anymore and doesn't bother.  An asshole or has he always been this way?).  Finally, Ash came to the rescue and then Mike.  He was nicely dressed up and came straight to me.  "You're dressed up!"  "And he has shoes!" Ash added.  But then Mike left and I was left with my group and sort of Ash.

"Before class he came up to me and said he didn't mean to do that as far as giving me a 6.5 for "not putting in as much effort as the others" and that he's "really busy and must've mistake my true mark amongst all his papers."  I think he could tell on my face that I was thinking, "oh, bullshit, don't pull that" because he nudged me and said, "Don't take it personal."  Hmm."

Finally the presentation came and we were the last ones to go.  I wanted to be first, but it was okay.  Once I got up there it felt natural, but I felt so disconnected from everyone.  I need to get to the point where I can actually talk to them and know exactly what I'm saying word for word at the same time.  Also, passion.  I need to be more passionate without being annoying.

During the rest of the presentation Stephen walked past twice and May and I were laughing and waving.  Seeing Stephen actually made me feel better.

Afterwards he asked me a few questions, but they were so easy that I didn't mind at all.  Just clarifying.   May asked him, "Do you have any comments for our group?"  "I think the professor was really impressed because he said, "Great idea-- are you going to go through with it?"  (We all said no).  "Are you thinking of selling the business plan then?"  (We laughed- but I think he's serious)."

After the presentation I realized that I don't want to see most of these people ever again, and then ones I do want to see, I probably never will.  When I left I didn't say goodbye to Nash this time, because I'm tired of his pissy happy attitude.  He obviously doesn't care about me.

INVITES  "And then I talked to May and she invited me out to dinner with the rest of our group members since I'm going back home and ZeFeng's going back to China, but I sure don't want to go.  I have to go, but I surely don't want to.  Especially if Nash'll be there, since he's got this thing against me for some reason.  (Unless it's just his Indian-British background of just staring and not saying anything?)."

LITTLE PLEASURES  But I caught Mike on the way out, luckily because I thought he was long gone.  Maybe he was waiting up for someone or me, I don't know.  I asked him if he was going to the tute, and he said no (figures).  Then Armell walked past, the French chick, and she was oddly nice to me.  Mike hugged her goodbye and I was jealous, but also surprised at how touchy he is with people he doesn't even really know.

After Armell left, he was talking about how I could help him out and I told him, "What do I get?" HE HUGGED ME!  It felt so great.  How often do boys I like hug me?  Not often. What, just Geovanny, Gareth, and now Mike?  That's it.  And after he hugged me he said he'd give me something extra special.  He's such a lovable player.  And as he was leaving I called out, "See you in the brasserie!"  "I'll give you extra dessert!"  he called back.

UNI CLASSWORK  Beforehand I was with the boys chatting and trying to do some work.  And my last tutorial ever was fine- I brought my laptop and that was that.  I've never done it before, but it felt damn good just pissing around on the internet like every one else does.  Afterwards, our prof wanted a class photo.  Amei, Ying's friend, sat next to me and held me-- close!  And afterwards she got right in my face, just the way she is,to talk. Wow- talk about cultural differences.

LITTLE PLEASURES  That night at dinner Mike scanned my card and asked me about class.  Then he acted as if he was waiting so he could serve me, but then he had to serve the guy in front of me.  Dessert?  He ran over even though a woman already started serving me since no one was coming.  "Would you like anything else?" he said in a sneaky way, inferring to earlier in the day.  "Next time when there's chocolate I laughed."  I felt cool.

Monday, 4 August 2008

Entry ?

-confidence talk
-career out with sklinky and lollies
-meetig: last one ever, still treat more than dino but less than himself, ugh.  teased may swearing and felt girlish and good

Sunday, 3 August 2008

Entry ?

SADNESS I'm a mess right now because I'm crying after watching 2 minutes of The Land Before Time. I guess when I was little it was the first time I realized that my mom would pass away one day, and so now I always associate that with this movie. UGH!

UNI RESIDENTS I told Mike, at dinner, that I'm job searching. Instead of being focused on himself like he almost always is, he said, "Where? Back home?" Or was it because he's wondering if I'm staying? I wonder if he thinks of me as a good friend. He acts like it enough, but not consistently, you know?

Saturday, 2 August 2008

DREAM I was sleeping in an empty room somewhere, and I woke up walking through a large empty house. It's a house I dreamed before, sort of like grandma's, but more extravagant. I found a little girl but she was running from me. Next I know I'm at a dinner table with her and a lady who appears to not be her mother. The lady is dress similar to the freaky lady in the Ring video/dream/viral sequence.

Friday, 1 August 2008

Entry ?

BEST FRIEND  & EMAIL  First of all, my best friend, Gazzy.  So I was in the Multilearning Centre with Ashnita when he emailed me, so I was pretty surprised to turn on my iTouch and find his name pop up after randomly checking shortly after.  

  • "Made octopus last night, a tagine. You might have actually liked it" includes me in his life
  • The fact that he doesn't go, "Lucy, my dad's partner's daughter" makes me feel special, like I should know
  • "So there should be a pile of ideas that’ll fly through your head" about his $3,000.  So he wants me to plan what we can do now that he has that money?
  •  "Damn, I was keeping my fingers cross for PR- I’ve never been good at cheating the system either (just look at centrelink), it always seems so easy for everyone else though- I don’t know why. But at least your mum’ll be thrilled (‘horay!’). Exactly, I think I might gradually be getting the hang of saving up (at least temporarily), so America’s only a few steps away."  So that's his response?  I guess it's okay.
  • "I reckon we should give French silk pie a go ourselves" to my response of telling him of how to make one after he mentioned what he incorrectly thinks one is
  • "Or we could take the celebration to new levels and buy some pre-packed sandwiches from the supermarket, and make it a truly memorable experience! Please not McD’s! No!"  He is SO FUNNY when he wants to be.
  • "A pact- Tokyo Aquarium before we die" Um, so we'll be traveling together for years to come?  Awesome, especially since I used to say this and now he is.
  • "It’d be fun to see how you’d react to it all (they’d probably love you, but all of them together can be a little draining)."  They'd love me?  What am I, a girlfriend now?  Aw regardless!  
  • Huh, like I’d pass the opportunity to have my own special chauffeur (and as if you could resist all those roundabouts, you know they’re so much fun!)."  Again, funny when he wants to be.
  • "Hope you come up with some fun plans in the next couple of weeks, and I’ll see you then."  Again, with the planning, aw.
  • "Oh and I did my first real marshmallow roasting last night with a real fire, not cheating."  He's sooo Americanized it's not even funny.  

UNI CLASSWORK  I had four meetings in one day, which is two more than normal for me.  I was tired, but yet if felt like I had something to do in life.

The first meeting was more casual- it was with Arthur and Stephen for our IFM assignment.  I met them in the library, and before Stephen came, it was just me and Arthur sitting like two old people watching others walk past while talking.  And how walks past?  Elaine.  We were laughing at how she was walking like as if she had a stick up her ass.

The second meeting was with Ashnita, which ran into my meeting with Arthur and Stephen.  With her it was quick, easy, and painless as she quickly showed me what she wrote for our paper, and I was surprised she did so much work (like four pages, but for her that's a lot).  We talked about how I really should go to Fiji since I can visit her, and then we talked about how Gaz and I should just get together already.  She's convinced we are in denial, but I know better to fall for him again like that. 

I went back to the library and found the boys in a group study room.  Stephen's such a knowitall that I call out nowadays.  I used to not, but now why shouldn't I?  He thinks he knows Cleveland and was arguing with me about my own fucking city, but when I called him out when a very detailed "no, you're wrong" answer, I just laughed at his face.

Break was lunch in which I went over to get a chocolate cake from Megan, who smiled knowing what I was going to ask for.  Then back over to the library before walking back over to my bungie with the boys to drop off their bags in my room.

JOB  Which lead to my third meeting.  It was with Kirsty, who is not as likeable as Amy, but very nice.  She just pauses long and I question if I'm supposed to speak or not.  My problem is the filler kind of talking, so I can't stand that.  I was proud how I wasn't nervous and we laughed and chatted, because I needed to work on that.  But I also need to work on getting to the point and not deviating as well.  She told me, just like Nash and Stephen, that "It's not what you can do, but what you want to do." So again I feel better.  I also like how professional she was: standing when I came in, standing when I went to leave, making it more informal, and knowing what she was doing over all.

And finally, my last meeting.  On the way to meeting May and company, I saw the boys in a room two doors down.  I was talking with them when Dino and May came in and I left jealously.  I found Nash alone and he's so weird nowadays.  I have to forcibly talk to him and I won't bother anymore.  Thankfully Dino and May soon followed-- she got her job!  But I must remember to, well, remember what's going on in their lives so I can ask later on.

Basically what do I remember about this meeting?  I didn't get credit for my work yet again. And David Robinson?:  "Not to complain in this email about someone you don't know, it's no secret to anyone that I loathe my entrepreneurship professor, David.  I mean really, how can someone like him get $100,000+ per year to teach nothing to us at all?  And on top of that, not remember our names or give us our correct marks?  It only takes a girl to flirt with him for him to give her top marks, right?  So the other day he posted our grades on ilearn and after hearing that Nash in my group got a 7.5 for doing nothing, I was pissed at my 6.5/10 for doing every single thing for my group.  Normally I wouldn't care, but knowing that my professor gives high marks to only the people he likes since he's biased, I was pretty peeved off.  I emailed him with, "I was the first one who spoke, and I was the one who gave the longest critique with the most information.  I was chosen as the representative for my group.  I just spoke to the rest of my team members today during our meeting, and they all agreed that it seems subjective and doesn't add up when I was the one who spoke for the entire group."  The entire time I was going, "that damn wanker" over and over again while typing that.

Now I'll get to see if he acknowldeges the fact that either, a) he doesn't know my name and gave me a generic mark, or b) didn't give me a high mark since he forgets I exist since I don't flirt with him, or c), he doesn't pay attention to what happens in class and just gives us some random number when putting down marks.

I'll let you know what he gives me and what he says.  Normally I don't care, but there's just something about this womanizer that I can't stand, you know?  At least give me what I deserve even if I don't go "ooooh, Daaaviddd, you're sooooo smart!" like the other girls."

Lastly, dinner.  I saw Ying yet again.  I was glad I was smiling in a good mood and I instinctively went around without seeing her at first so that I wouldn't be too close to her.   Unlike her I was smiling from the good mood and I felt good as if a "fuck you."

Thursday, 31 July 2008

Entry ?

I had a meeting with Ashnita at 1pm, so I went over to the library to see the boys, Stephen and Arthur, meanwhile. However, Ash sent me a text cancelling and I was elated that I didn't have to deal with it. But meanwhile I had to deal with Stephen and his bullshit. He started arguing with me that I needed PR to live there. "I don't want to live here. I love my country. Why should I?" "Australia's a haven!" I laughed at him. I couldn't stop myself. "I talked to my uncle, I talked to his friends, and I talked with two foreign doctors who all said this program is bullshit and I don't need a visa." Why does he even care? I wasn't upset, but I was shaking because I'm not used to taking him on. He wasn't even that passionate either, because for once someone was calling him out on things.

It felt great.

"Now I'm debating if I should do this," Arthur said. He's such a sheep. He'll do whatever someone persuades him to do, but it makes me laugh because he's so stupid. He's not doing this to live in Australia, but to get out of the US since Stephen's telling him it's going down.

"We'll miss your smiling face," Stephen said in all sincerity. Does he just want me to live here for someone to talk to with Arthur?!

I had to go to the cashiers and on the way I ran into the accommodation lady who still remembered me. How does she do it? She asked me about me being on the waiting list, and then off I went to cashiers with a nice lady to help me.

11:11 my iTouch said. Perfect timing.

Lunch was over in the cafe with my brasserie food with Stephen and Arthur again. The middle-easterner next to us was eyeing my seat as if he wanted to use it, so I asked, but he brushed me off. What, because I'm a useless girl? Regardless I felt good just offering at least.

But then Arthur brought up me leaving the Gold Coast and asked if I'm coming back up before I go home. What is he upset that I'm not doing the PR program? And Stephen's convinced I will want to stay because of Gaz, but I adamantly denied it because I won't. I already went through it and survived. So is this him just looking out for me, or being an asshole?

Then Stephen kept asking how long I will be on the coast. Uhh, why? Caring again?

The three of us went to see Aslihan, who was nicest to me and Arthur becasue we were polite and talked about her life. Stephen just barged in, sat down, didn't offer me a seat (Arthur did), and kept talking about his life. Aslihan was focusing on us two with chit chat, not Stephen. I watched him get what he wanted by asking directly if she had the answer for something, and when she wouldn't say, he got up and looked at her answer book.

What an asshole.

We ran into Alex on the way out, and he finally acknowledged me for the first time in almost a week, since Zala attacked us. It felt good to know there's nothing bad between us.

LIFE HERE Back with Stephen and Arthur while they did their thing, and I tried to work on HRM. I hate Stephen and yet I can't get away from him...that's terrible. I said the words "loo" and "oopsie daisy" since I've lived here so long and both boys noticed. "You sound Aussie." DUH, it's called assimilating. "You'll do well traveling," said Stephen. "I know. I assimilate unlike most people I meet here," with a gab at Arthur, wondering if he noticed.

LITTLE PLEASURES I had a nice talk to Mike at dinner again, and he asked me, "how's studying going?" just to get the conversation going. And it went. We talked about how you can tell what day it is by what they are serving. We talked about staying all day with Stephen and Arthur, even though I hate it, just because it happens. He scoffed at Stephen's stupid, "Australia is a haven!" which made me feel great that he agrees. Then he asked me to send him my IFM study guide with that flirting smile. All while bending down to talk to me (to hide, or to get closer, I don't know), which was lovely. "Yeah, you weren't there," He said when I mentioned how Ash told me he came to visit. Aw! We kept at it until the guy came by and asked for some chips.

Wednesday, 30 July 2008

Entry ?

I met Ashnita in the MLC for our meeting:
"My group meeting with Ashnita was...a complete dud...twice, just like I thought.  We met on Wednesday and we were there for 5 minutes before she said, "Want to go out to eat?"  In other words, after 5 minutes she didn't want to work, so I blew her invite off and went to get some other work done instead.  Really though, I was glad that I didn't have to sit there and work on the paper with her."  

During I found out that Mike had told her that he was going to go visit me (and he did, but I wasn't there).  Maybe he just went so he could talk to me?!  Not for uni reasons?  So I felt cool and important hearing that.  Then Ash kept telling me to go to Fiji and meet up with her.

"On the way out, Zala (the girl who tore Stephen and my group apart), apologized to me which completely shocked me.  But the real realization was the fact that gossip at this university is so freaking fast and widespread, no matter who you are (I know a lot of the people in my degree, but still, you know?  I'm not exactly someone who knows and talks to everyone)."

Ash drove me to the uni centre, during which I had to give her the latest gossip-- it's like I'm in high school again.  

I had met with Stephen earlier in the day and I found out that Stephen had told the Iceland bitch about the professional degree.  I'm just angry that he's making it easy for bitches like her.

So when I went to find them, it was easy.  I love how easy it is on campus to not only find someone on your own, but ask someone and they usually know.  But they were at the Wednesday by the Water and partially ignoring me, so I left.  I like not having to feel inferior, that's all.  

Tuesday, 29 July 2008

Entry ?

UNI CLASSWORK While waiting for class to start, the Canadian started talking to me again, even though I ignore his arrogant ass. Then class started, and thus the fun. I was nervous because we were told that we were going to be put on the spot and be called out with a lot of difficult questions. I wasn't happy, naturally, as I hate being put on the spot. That didn't happen since we didn't have time.

But instead, we had to give a group critique in the front of the class.

"Do you know what they call jumping jacks?"
" jumps."

"Don't you mean elevator?"
"No, I mean lift."

Why can't Arthur fucking assimilate like me? Why is he amazed that I have?