Tuesday, 5 August 2008

Entry ?


Friends (AUS)
  • Gareth!
  • Ash...
  • Mike...
  • Stephen...
  • Arthur...
  • May...

Friends (US)
  • Kristen
  • Betty...
  • Christina...
  • Jess...
AUS lifestyle:
  • No car
  • Expensive food and clothing
  • I can't even go shopping alone
  • I would have to live with someone else
  • People are nice and yet obnoxious
  • No family
  • But I have Gareth
  • Good reputation
  • Clean air, but HOT air
  • So isolated and boring...did everything just about
  • Has plenty of jobs
  • Good pay, but expensive living
  • Not so powerful, but no killings (supposedly)

US lifestyle:
  • I have a car
  • Food is so cheap, as well as clothing (which is styles I like)
  • I can go shopping alone
  • I don't have to live with someone
  • People are nice, obnoxious, but just like me
  • I have my family
  • But I have Betty (ugh) and Kristen 
  • Bad reputation, and yet they fucking love us
  • Cleanish air, but I don't even notice + colder weather (nice)
  • Soooo much to do
  • Still has good jobs
  • Not as good pay, but fucking cheap living
  • We're powerful -> Our power may be dying, but then others die too
Overall, I'm going to be happier in the US.  The only thing that will bother me is knowing that undeserving people will live in Australia (because I WANT TO LIVE IN ANOTHER COUNTRY) and that most importantly...Gareth.  But, we have such a strong friendship that I can withstand only emails and seeing him every year.  We're so strong that he'll forever be my friend and we'll see each other for sure.

I've lost Betty and Jess, but really does it matter much?  If I have Kristen down the street, I'll be okay.  And with a job I can make new friends.  And if it doesn't work out, there's Gareth to go running to or another city.

UNI CLASSWORK  it was my last presentation ever.  Ever, ever, ever.  I was there early, followed by a few people I don't really talk to, then Nash who was a struggle (he just stares anymore and doesn't bother.  An asshole or has he always been this way?).  Finally, Ash came to the rescue and then Mike.  He was nicely dressed up and came straight to me.  "You're dressed up!"  "And he has shoes!" Ash added.  But then Mike left and I was left with my group and sort of Ash.

"Before class he came up to me and said he didn't mean to do that as far as giving me a 6.5 for "not putting in as much effort as the others" and that he's "really busy and must've mistake my true mark amongst all his papers."  I think he could tell on my face that I was thinking, "oh, bullshit, don't pull that" because he nudged me and said, "Don't take it personal."  Hmm."

Finally the presentation came and we were the last ones to go.  I wanted to be first, but it was okay.  Once I got up there it felt natural, but I felt so disconnected from everyone.  I need to get to the point where I can actually talk to them and know exactly what I'm saying word for word at the same time.  Also, passion.  I need to be more passionate without being annoying.

During the rest of the presentation Stephen walked past twice and May and I were laughing and waving.  Seeing Stephen actually made me feel better.

Afterwards he asked me a few questions, but they were so easy that I didn't mind at all.  Just clarifying.   May asked him, "Do you have any comments for our group?"  "I think the professor was really impressed because he said, "Great idea-- are you going to go through with it?"  (We all said no).  "Are you thinking of selling the business plan then?"  (We laughed- but I think he's serious)."

After the presentation I realized that I don't want to see most of these people ever again, and then ones I do want to see, I probably never will.  When I left I didn't say goodbye to Nash this time, because I'm tired of his pissy happy attitude.  He obviously doesn't care about me.

INVITES  "And then I talked to May and she invited me out to dinner with the rest of our group members since I'm going back home and ZeFeng's going back to China, but I sure don't want to go.  I have to go, but I surely don't want to.  Especially if Nash'll be there, since he's got this thing against me for some reason.  (Unless it's just his Indian-British background of just staring and not saying anything?)."

LITTLE PLEASURES  But I caught Mike on the way out, luckily because I thought he was long gone.  Maybe he was waiting up for someone or me, I don't know.  I asked him if he was going to the tute, and he said no (figures).  Then Armell walked past, the French chick, and she was oddly nice to me.  Mike hugged her goodbye and I was jealous, but also surprised at how touchy he is with people he doesn't even really know.

After Armell left, he was talking about how I could help him out and I told him, "What do I get?" HE HUGGED ME!  It felt so great.  How often do boys I like hug me?  Not often. What, just Geovanny, Gareth, and now Mike?  That's it.  And after he hugged me he said he'd give me something extra special.  He's such a lovable player.  And as he was leaving I called out, "See you in the brasserie!"  "I'll give you extra dessert!"  he called back.

UNI CLASSWORK  Beforehand I was with the boys chatting and trying to do some work.  And my last tutorial ever was fine- I brought my laptop and that was that.  I've never done it before, but it felt damn good just pissing around on the internet like every one else does.  Afterwards, our prof wanted a class photo.  Amei, Ying's friend, sat next to me and held me-- close!  And afterwards she got right in my face, just the way she is,to talk. Wow- talk about cultural differences.

LITTLE PLEASURES  That night at dinner Mike scanned my card and asked me about class.  Then he acted as if he was waiting so he could serve me, but then he had to serve the guy in front of me.  Dessert?  He ran over even though a woman already started serving me since no one was coming.  "Would you like anything else?" he said in a sneaky way, inferring to earlier in the day.  "Next time when there's chocolate I laughed."  I felt cool.