Entry HUNDRED-SIXTY-FIVE

LIFE HERE I caught Megan from the Brasserie looking back at me as she went to serve someone at the dessert counter, and sure enough she came over to ask what I wanted even though I was at the food station. Goes to show how they remember our habits so well.


I went to the immigration expo after two semesters of putting it off. I even dressed up per Stephen's suggestion regarding career appointments, and sat down on the lounge outside the princeton room. The girl kept looking back at me and finally asked, "are you here for the seminar?" To be honest I kept putting it off since I was early, still unsure, and not seeing anyone else going in. I kind of stalled, should I lie? But I ultimately didn't and she kindly instructed me to have a seat while giving me a number.

My number was called (number 2) and I approached the table with a smile to the older gentlemen of white hair an a young, blond Aussie. I don't remember if they smiled, but I said hello and introduced myself, unsure where I should sit. Was he taking care of me or her? He took over, thankfully, and I stumbled. My hands shook and my voice altered, and surprisingly the girl who sat down next to me for the blond was completely calm. Basically, he sort of calmed me. I can get a visa, but probably not right away. A few years time probably. But when it comes down to it, could I live here right away? As long as I can eventually, I guess that's okay. Gaz won't rush to get married...I don't think. And I need time back in America to sort things out. I think I need to get a job in the industry and then apply for a skilled visa. The job will give me the sufficient points.


UNI RESIDENTS After that I saw Arthur and went to say hello, which turned out wonderful. Things happen for a reason and when I went over to talk to him, it turns out he had turned in his homework on Wednesday. So we went to my bungie to work on it so I could email it to the professor. It was fun talking to him that I was giddily asking questions and talking and talking and talking. And he's American, so he completely understands. He's still a little weird, wanting to see my room, but it was fine.


Towards the end Jillian came and I looked up to her smiling. "Usually it's me sitting here!" We joked and I invited her to join in the stats fun and she declined laughing. She's much kinder to me this semester, but I don't know what changed it. In fact, she talks so much to me and smiles so much. Maybe it's the fact we're both americans?


Then there was the Malaysians who passed by and only Audrey was semi-happy to see me with "Ivette" acting her usual cold self. I now have this attitude towards them that's switched from Jillian to them, not caring if I say hi or not. Strange how life works like that. People you think are nice really aren't and people you think aren't nice really are.


Ying emailed me.

First she pushed me to email him without really saying it, without just doing it herself. Is that a Chinese thing? I know she feels like she's "bothering" professors by going during their office hours...

Then two hours she emailed this in broken English (her boyfriend must proof-read her assignments):
"want to check what's the answer for homework two, Question 2, Variance of portfolio 1?"
Me: ""Arthur and I are working on HW 2 Saturday morning at 8am, so if you like, you can look at our work when you come at 10:10am."
Ying: "that one is demonstrated yesterday at lab. either way it's ok then."
Me (pissed): "yeah, i know, but he didn't give us the answer for that one. i wrote down everything he said/did and he didn't give us that."
Ying: "confirmed. thank you. i have pb with excel.. r u very good at excel?"(She should run to her good, old buddy, May)



GROWN UP Why did I have no problem calling (again) to reconfirm my book for greyhound? Is it because I had to? Is it because it was a small thing? I don't understand why I can be socially awkward at some instances and not at others.