Entry ELEVEN

Just couldn't get myself out of bed, but somehow I woke up around 11:11, which I somehow always do if I sleep in. I tried, I tried to push myself out, but each time I would drift back to dream. I think it was the dreams.

I'm doing better talking to people, but I still do the nervous giggle thing that must make them think I'm somewhat of an airhead.

It's so strange. Just today I was thinking how weird it would be if Christina emailed me and our common room couch was returned...only to have both happen. How in the world?

LIFE HERE "WOW, that was goooooddd...." I sighed as I finished my first taste of ice cream in over three months. THREE MONTHS. Did the girl at the IGA recognize me? I think so!

Reading others' journals about feeling out of place and wanting home in comforting in two different ways. One, I'm not the only one that feels that way. Two, I seem to be of a rare kind that thrives on the differences.

Living here has disadvantages. No Marc's or equivalent to get quality stuff for cheaper. No Giant Eagle for twenty-four hour grocery needs. No Best Buy with extended warranties for electronics. No car means not being able to drive to the local store whenever, which means I can't do crafty things when I have the urge or inspiration.

Find myself randomly finding excuses and urges to go to the library and get food just so I can be social. I'm losing my skills, my mind, my sanity, my health. I wish Gaz were here like in Bathurst so I had someone to talk to every day and all day. Need to find a suitable substitute, a room buddy of sorts. Problem is, I'm not living in a huge dorm and people aren't like that here. It was just Gareth, who lived in my room, they didn't even do that in Hargraves.

BEST FRIEND I've been negative again and I think it's because it's been (a whole) three days since I've heard from Gaz. I keep daydreaming about me telling him, trying to guilt him, how I'll move to Florida and hopefully find new friends and a boy to love me. I write way too much about it, but then again, if I had any other close friends I would be doing the same about them as well. And yes, there's the feeling issue for him. I still would be his if he asked me, not that I THINK that he would. That's the difference this time.

Gareth and you are okay, so shut up.
Gareth will email probably on Monday, so shut up.

Fourteen days and then you have three weeks of living with Gaz, sleeping in his bed again (!), going out for dinner or breakfast or lunch, touring the city, and visiting museums. Maybe picnics and the sort. It's the little things and you will have three weeks of it.

Then that will give you the strength to continue on for another semester before you get to see him again. Another semester that will bring new people, which may mean new friends. Just join a club, please.

Meeting him has been the best thing to happen, and we both remember how it happened. I love how he still remembers and when he retells the story of how he made the move. It feels like a "how we met" story between to lovers, that's how special it is.

" I have found my best friend who I recently discovered was my other half.
I missed her so much and am beyond happy now that we've found each other again.
She is my unlikely other half. We live across the country from each other and have been friends for four years until we lost contact and found it again recently.

We both felt extreme depression during the time we lost contact. I know mine was because of how lonely I felt, even with the love of my boy. I was lacking the friendship I had once had with her. It took a lot of searching to find an address to send a letter to and once I did, it was returned open with stamps I mailed her stolen. I mailed it to one of the other three addresses I had and she was found. Now all I want to do is talk to her. I'm writing letters like crazy using up stamps mailing them all. I just have missed her so much and want to be back in her life and have her back in mine.

You, or maybe just me, would have thought my boy would be my other half. I love him to death and never want to be without him but I am pretty sure the saddness I felt from losing him might be cured in time. The saddness I felt from losing her dragged and never left completely. I already lost one best friend. I can't lose this one. I will work my hardest to keep us from becoming lost to each other again."

Mom and I realized how lucky I am to have met Gareth and how rare it is to meet someone you click with and stay with!


READING: Bush Oranges
DAYS TILL CANBERRA: Fourteen