Entry ?

QUOTES

"In Canberra I’m stuck in a bit of a rut. My friends are comfortable with their boyfriends and office jobs, and I was always worried no one wanted to do things like travel with me. Al made me realise I should do it myself."

That's from, embarrassingly, Bridgette from Big Brother 08, but it holds true to me. Especially since of late. I'm stuck in a rut at the moment, my friends are branching off, and I feel alone. I need to start living myself. I keep saying it, but I'm not doing it yet. That's my goal then. (And at least others feel the same).

QUOTE & CULTURE
And a funny quote...

"You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy,the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named Bush, Dick, and Colon." --Comedian Chris Rock

Anyway, I am in a rut of sorts. I want to do something crazy, adventurous. I want to move to South Africa or New Zealand. I want to stay here, but where would I stay? Where would I get a car? What about friends through? Gareth's my only one here really! Ugh, it's so frustrating. Then I got to thinking. What about moving to an US territory? And if not that...what about an adventurous part of the US?

I spent all day thinking about how I can make more friends and get closer to the ones I have. I need to learn to invite people out, send emails, and ask how they are with real interest. I need to make more of an effort, and not just for Gaz. I messaged Jess through facebook, but she hasn't replied yet. Hmm. But I'm not worried.

Before dinner I forced myself to go to the couch area of the uni centre building so I could study some more. Previously, surprisingly, I actually dedicated a lot of time to studying and figuring out IFM. But also isolating myself forced me to focus even more.

BEST FRIEND Before heading into the Bra I noticed that Gaz emailed me while on my iTouch and my head tilted to the side with a smirk on my face and an uplifting feeling inside. There I was on the balcony above, by the Bra, with my iTouch in my hand and a big smile on my face.

LIFE HERE After venturing inside the Bra, not caring who would be working or who was around (trying to avoid Ying, and Daryl, the asshole manager), I was happy enough to make small talk with Angela (the bubbly redhead). And when I got back to eat my take-away dinner (as always) and watch Big Brother, my nose was scrunched up in utter disgust with wide eyes and lowered eyebrows when a commercial for Macca's came on. "McAmerican bagel with spicy ketchup and bacon." Oh, lovely. So American, too...

But can I live here? I talked with mom about the recession in the US and she told me she'll take care of me if it ever does get bad, but that it won't. And really, can I live here alone? No car? No house? High prices for everything? Yes, I won't have Gaz, but I can always apply for citizenship later or see him every two years, right? Because if I live here, how often would I see him? I don't know really. But so I remember: I'm going to apply for jobs here regardless and see what happens.

EMAIL So back to Gareth. I finally got to read his email all the way through now that I had dinner.

"So today was dad’s birthday lunch (don’t know why, but I volunteered to do the cooking, and if I thought you were a fussy eater…wow, I hadn’t seen anything yet. But then at least I got to eat all the anchovies!)." (He he he. Sort of like saying, "I know you and I'm acknowledging it, too).

"Have to go to Sydney and find that bloody beer place, I’ve just asked for directions from someone who lives there (I’ve got no better idea where it is though but…). Apparently they have a Belgian beer place at the rocks which serves the best oysters and mussels (more your thing maybe) that come with about fifteen different choice of sauces…I’m salivating. Oh, and I’m determined to get a bowl of the hot pot stuff that we had in Canberra (instead of a massive octopus) this time around (I think it’s called stone bowl and not hot pot…that’s where we made the cock-up). Oh, and yum cha…that’s a winner, you can’t go wrong with that because there’s something for everyone. That’s including the eats maitland place too. Hmm, fun, fun."

"You stay as long as you want to and that’s an order (so that’s about up until I start making you bonkers (or the boredom) or the other way around…which should be a decent amount of time. Either that or my mum will get sick of us both (she won’t…unless I really work at it), and kick the two of us out (which’d be fun really, if I don’t touch my centrelink money I could even live like that for two or so days!)." (AW! For real though? In December you were sick of me though. But in August you didn't want me to leave, hmm. I just love the way he puts things- so great. Loveable in a Gaz kind of way).

"Remember the pie place in Newcastle? Well it’s probably not the same as you know at home, but the hotdog I ate was pretty good…and I here there’s an even better one in Sydney (but that would mean spending too much time in Sydney (which makes each of us pain in the arses, so I think mussels and stone bowls and yum cha sound like enough at least for beginners). All we’d have to do otherwise is go to the shops and we’d find sausages (or a butcher…either or)." (So he's definitely planning lots of stuff for us to do in Newie and Sydney, aw, but also trying to figure out solutions for my cravings.).

"There are a couple of Australian films out right now, so you might be able to finally get the ‘never seen an Australian movie in Australia’ monkey of your back." (I haven't said anything since his birthday...)

"Star watching sounds like a good plan. I used to love reading my dad’s books growing up."

"You are silly, I’ve seen the trailer for wall-E…I don’t know how at any point that film could make you cry (although I understand The Land Before Time, I think that made my eyes water a little bit too)." (Pet-ish name!)

"The chocolate remains safe…phew (I had a little shock earlier when dad went in and came out chewing something…but I think he was just eating nuts or something)." (He wants me to know still that they're okay, AW).

"You have a good new week to (it’s almost holiday time), I’ll see you ‘round." (For my benefit, or his?).

He's being personable again. He's also still on about what we will do when we see each other. And for the first time in a long time, he's called me a semi-pet name. I'm loving it all so much.

CALL Arthur called me and we talked for 40 minutes since he takes so long to say such a simple thing. Regardless it was nice from the monotony. That's for sure. It's so easy for him to get close to people, where I would second guess that.