AMERICAN HOME & DEEP SADNESS Mom called and she won't let me come home to see Tiger before she dies during April. So to my surprise I cried so much. I cried, stopped, and then cried even more. But then she called back that night and she said I misunderstood her (as always, that I always do that and that's why I have problems with Gareth as well- according to her). She said I could come home if I want.
Mom said the same thing happened last time and this is just repeating. Where he wants to see me, but we're playing communication games. Except I can't remember. I seem to remember me calling him crying about wanting to leave for good, that if I go home I won't come back, and then him offering Newcastle after that. But this time I remember saying how I'll stop by to see him on the way to Sydney and NZ and he asked if I'd just fly from Brisbane, like was snubbing me. The communication error was staying at his place versus a YHA and I booked the YHA in spite to learn he always assumed I'd be staying with him. This time I don't think he even wants me to come in the first place.
Bottom line. Do I ask him? Or assume we won't go to Thailand because he won't have the money and just blow off seeing him for probably the last time and just go home?
And what about when I leave for good? This will never stop unfortunately. And the funny thing is that I knew this was coming since we "talked" about this in January. Either he blew me off, I hurt him, or he thought I didn't want to see him. Who knows.
UNI CLASSWORK We met together as a group and we were all on time, except Ying who was ten minutes late. Typical. No one really started, no one led, so I went ahead and got us started to my surprise. I don't like taking over or being a leader, but we had to do something. But Shivang was the one who had the good ideas and the content, so we were a good team while the other two added from time to time. Overall though I don't think we will have any problems with people not showing up and people fucking us over...this being the third charm.
UNI RESIDENTS & YING I was hoping to escape afterwards and instead of getting away with not having dinner with her, she asked as I was caught talking to the Islander girl. She literally asked while we were mid-sentence with each other. That's how controlling Ying is. And it was just as I thought. Her being a pain in the ass, and not being happy, while I was trying. But instead of really trying this time I gave up and told her basically how it is. I told her that yes I'm going to New Zealand, but that's because I can't trust any of my friends. That they say they will go but don't follow through. Did she get I was talking about her? Probably not. But I'm tired of sugar coating it.
Just as if he were sent to save us from getting to far (and me going off and off in a tangent), cue Toby. He asked if were going to Post-grad dinner and then went off about our International Trade professor, making us laugh, but then left without saying anything. He doesn't want to be close friends with us, so why try?
Mike was the best. I took a chance and asked how he was and he then asked how I was. For him to be friendly now, in the Brasserie, you have to talk first. Before it was the other way around. Maybe he did like me before?
