Entry ?

DREAMS I woke up at 8am and went back to sleep for a couple of hours, during which I had another sexual dream. I dreamt that some badass was having sex with me and he was so big that he filled me up and left me sore. But it felt so good. But then my mom woke up and I had to open the window for him to sneak out. I even told him which car, even though it was his, to take as a getaway. His was blocked in but I figued he could still do it. And yet when I went down to my garage I found him and some of his buddies taking my family's cars. Then I woke up...

BEST FRIEND & EMAIL

Well I’m reliable in my own funny way. Yep, 17th of August. Maybe you should stay for longer than two weeks, There’s always a place to stay with me, I’ll make sure of that so you don’t have to worry about that (even if it’s not exactly the most fun in the world around here). Hmm, yeah, from what I’ve gathered your mum’s threat doesn’t sound too solid. So there’s mum or dad’s, neither of which would be put out (or I don’t really care if they are)- mum’s is good if you want to drive around the same old vineyards or go to Newcastle etc (pretty much if you want to go somewhere occasionally seeing it’s closer to everything and she only need’s her car three days a week, plus I think she’d be glad for the company…I get the feeling it’s a bit lonely out there)- dad’s is good if you want to get away from everything and just slob out for a while, it’s further away from everything, and it takes longer to get anywhere, and the people here could drive you crazy (it would involve meeting new people as well- at least you know what to expect from my mum, these once could drive you crazy pretty quickly…I know I get a little bit of a murderous twitch a few times a day- which is pretty impressive seeing they’re not around most of the time). So that’s what’s available here, unless we can come up with some other plans as well.

I woke up to his email, which was such a nice surprise. He's so wonderful! He's going way beyond what I expected!

UNI CLASSWORK I ran into May and Nash in transit to the library, both of which were all smiles. Once we were inside the library study room (I guess I should describe that since I may not remember down the road: on the top of the fourth floor there are six study rooms groups can book), it was all fun naturally. They're hard workers who know a lot, especially at this end bit, because they think more critically and they have more prior knowledge. I can't keep up. But I think May knows I'm trying.

She gave us lollies and we were eating, laughing so hard at the end that my stomach hurt. May hasn't done that to me yet, but things just worked out that well somehow. She's like Liz so much, just Asian. And at the end she told me, "Jen, you're a diplomat! You'd be good in HR" because I placed a :) at the end of her strict email to Dino.

UNI RESIDENTS Mike was all happy like at dinner. He went next to Jesse, who served the person in front of me, and grabbed my hard. He asked how I was, and then moved over right away to get my food for me, while Jesse served the guy behind me. Happy much to serve me?? How cute! We weren't as talkative, but he was still nice and happy. The added bonus was going to get dessert and Jesse was nice again.

Entry ?

UNI CLASSWORK It's Wednesday and I had a meeting with Ying and Ashnita, following the fall out with Ying yesterday and naturally I was worried that Ying would push me out of our group. And so there was a saving grace with Arthur texted to say he was in the library and I went to join him to avoid waiting alone. It was even better when Ash called to ask about what room we were in and I knew for sure that Ying didn't sabotage me.


UNI RESIDENTS Thus when I found Arthur outside the room I felt better since when Ying went by I didn't have to deal with her at all. Best came when Ash arrived, stopped to chat, and we were laughing with Art as well.


UNI CLASSWORK & YING Ash and I walked into the room. I sat semi across from Ying and we ignored each other until...I actually talked of her and she then semi looked at me and acknowledged my suggestions like I was doing. First I was surprised by her maturity, but also mine! While we were leaving Ash was talking about rugby and I felt cool because I watch it to and love it as well.


INVITES We were laughing about that, and when Ash and I walked out, we stopped by Arthur. Ash found out I was going back home in August/September, she invited me to stop in Fiji since she'd be home and said I could visit her.


UNI RESIDENTS Art and I walked over to the STA like planned where we ran into Toby on the way out. I was surprised, but he stayed 30 minutes to talk to us about his woes in life and I felt good because I love being with Arthur and running into people for chats. I know them as well, but I rarely stop to talk like Art does. And then we ran into Dino who sat really close to me for a guy and for a Chinese person...


WELLBEING I now actually feel much better, just like when I got rid of Franzi, because it's like a bad part of my life is finally gone and I don't have to deal with it no longer. I no longer have to worry about her ugly Chinese stares, pauses during my happiness, and belittling of my life. Not to forget those forced conversations and annoying dinners.

Entry ?

UNI CLASSWORK Tuesday, which as always, is Entrepreneurship and IFM. I went in ignoring the Canadian yet again, because he's arrogant and thinks he can act American, until he spoke for some reason. He asked if I've been paying attention to the election and I told him yes but I've given up. Okay, a good start, until he started his whole "I'm Canadian" and "The US is not ready for a black president" and "All the news here is American news" shit. I then chose to ignore him and decided to talk to Nash who is more intellectually stimulating. Once May came, as well as Dino, we were at our group dynamics laughing and joking. In fact, Dino's never joked and laughed so much with me before.

Next was my tutorial where I chose to ignored Mike, who for some reason (yet again) felt compelled to say hello. I ignored the first one (after what Ying did I didn't want to seem clingy now) but he said it a second time louder. He asked why I looked grumpy and I made up some stress issue.

My tutorial was actually pretty interesting as we had a question regarding J.C. Penney in our textbook (which was written by an American) and our professor said, "everyone knows them." So one of the Aussies told her that no, because it's an American company, and it's rarely mentioned in movies as is. So (Stephen) the Australian that spent five years in the US over 30 years ago piped up and said, "it's a store which sells clothing, sporting goods, the whole lot." My two American friends next to me turned to me to make "what the hell?" faces and I said, "Nooo" which apparently my professor noticed. So she asked me, "You disagree?" "Yes, it's mainly clothing." "It was in the 70s," Stephen said. I had to tell him it wasn't anymore, and then he started talking about it again from what he knew back in the 70s. So the first Aussie who spoke up said, "Can I hear from someone who actually LIVES there?" to get Stephen to shut up and turned to me and my friends to ask what exactly they sell and for how much they sell it.

But then it didn't stop there.

We then went to a question regarding Walmart...so Stephen went as far to argue with one of the Americans (Toby) that Walmart is only a small town store, so Toby turned to me for backup. "No, Stephen, they're all over, even in NYC," I told him. "NYC? Then it has to be a small store if it's there." "No, Stephen. It's actually huge, and spans several floors." Either he likes to be a knowitall even about things he doesn't know squat about, or he secretly wishes he still lived in the US (which I doubt, as much as he hates my country despite all the things he misses from it).

LITTLE PLEASURES After class Mike waited until I was facing the other direction and bumped into me sideways like a little kid. Flirting? Joking? Friendship? I don't know but it's fun!

YING it's finally a goodbye to Ying. I actually foresaw her telling me my bra was showing (I decided to go for a low cut tank top to show off cleavage after talking to Stephen yesterday) and yet I didn't think I'd finally snap. I just snapped not because she told me my bra was showing, but because I'm just so sick of it all. All the little things over the past two semesters have finally gotten to me. And actually, she was taking it well, and I wasn't mean at all and I was pretty much understanding considering (no yelling, no shaking, no name calling). But yet again her English skills still didn't get it no matter how much I repeated the main points. I told her that obviously I care, but because I want to be happy in my last semester, I'm only ignoring her. Bottom line.

DISCOVERED so there's my third female friend down the drain. No more link to China, but oh well, does it really matter? But I've discovered that I have to tell people right away when they're bugging me. I have to let the little things go for good. I have to invite friends out more often. So it was a learning experience all up.

Entry ?

"So the reason I had such a long nap is that I had my first presentation of the semester this morning. I woke up at 8am for my International Finance class, only for her to cancel ten minutes prior to the start (but a group of us were unaware, and waiting for her for ten minutes). That gave me two hours to practice my presentation, but meanwhile I was talking to the older Aussie who had my crying (I rarely cry in front of people I don't feel so comfy seeing that side of me, so that was kind of weird). I had my hair down, which I do maybe half the time, and he asked why I don't do it all the time....which for some reason means to him that I think I'm ugly and that I don't want to attract attention from men? Which I denied, and then started crying out of frustration.

My actual presentation was fine, although I'm out of practice, and that was my day before crashing and going to sleep for five hours."

ADVICE That was written to Gaz, but to get into more detail: yes, Stephen made me cry. He said I need to start wearing my hair down and showing cleavage to get guys, that I'm not doing so subconsciously. And I did start crying because he wouldn't stop and for some reason it just got to me. Not to forget, this was all before my first presentation of the semester.

UNI CLASSWORK The presentation itself was fine like I told Gaz and I was laughing and joking at the beginning. But for some reason my nerves got to me a few minutes in, but regardless, overall, it was fine I think. I hope I wasn't too nervous and didn't look down too much.

Naturally afterwards I felt so free because it was finally over with.

Entry ?

At brekky:

CULTURE Ying was badmouthing the US, about how we make other people fat, and I told her otherwise. I told her that no one forces people to eat McD's every day, and that they are making themselves fat. And so since she badmouthed my country, I told her we blame them as well for copyright infringment (especially with Disney World) and for cheap products. I won't hold back any more. If she'll give me cultural shit, I'll give it right back. Actually, neither of us were offended much. I told her people bitch about the US because they're jealous we're so big and she said, yes, because we're so powerful.

Apparently she also was talking to Mike about me, so now I have to do damage control. Which part of, "it's only fun" does she not get? But at least she was trying to help me.

Entry ?

YING I can't stand her, I just can't. And I may regret this down the road, but really does it matter? It's like Liz. I miss her like fucking crazy, and it was partially my fault, but really how often would I see her since she has a kid and lives in fucking Australia? Same for Ying- who will be in China. And like Liz, is she really a good friend? Yes, and no. It's just that she's constantly doing what only she wants. I have to constantly remind her of the important things (or does her English comprehension just suck?). She's cultures away from mine. And she's no fun to be with (she seriously thinks sitting on her ass is fun?).

As a result, when she came storming in like she does when she's pissed, with that ugly sour face of hers, I just went "meh" to it. I waved and was iffy as she was iffy as well. I didn't care and she was being asinine, so that's that.

(ADVICE) In fact, I took Stephen's advice to good use and stood up for myself. I turned down each of Miss Only-Think-Of-Myself's suggestions of sorts. She said I looked bad (her Chinese messed up way of saying what could be said in a more polite way of, "What's wrong?") and I told her that yes, I'm stressed as I have a lot of work to do. "That's why I asked you weeks ago to start this paper." And I repeated that a few more times to get it in her head that she fucked up and I don't appreciate it.

Then she said we should move, and I told her no. She wanted to go out of the couches, and I told her no. Then she wanted to go to her room and I said, "We always go to your room," I told her. She never comes to mine, so why should I go to her room any more?

Basically, even though I sent her the powerpoint on Tuesday, she didn't work on her part until last night and wasn't prepared for our meeting. So I told her we'll meet tomorrow as my part has been finished.

Then she looked over at the Canadian, and I rolled my eyes with her about him, seeing as neither of us can stand his arrogant ways. That lightened her up and she wanted to gossip, but I told her that I'm living a semester of doing what I want and not getting involved. Point being, her pissy mood changed but I could really care less.

BEST FRIEND/TEXT I took a nap and when I woke up I found a text from Gaz! It's been months since I've received one, and I haven't heard from him since Sunday, so I was extremely happy naturally. But after I text a reply to his HILARIOUS and CUTE text, I strangely didn't get a reply just like I haven't heard a reply from my email either. I don't get it? That's unlike him. But obviously him texting me after not reply to my email means he actually thought of me! He's thinking of me when he saw the game advertise on TV!

UNI RESIDENTS While I was texting him outside, waiting for the Bra to open, Elaine went by and she was happy to see me. Which means we went for dinner together and ate together, but it was actually a lot of fun. In fact, it was even more lively when Arthur came and he was laughing and joking with us. Elaine asked us about our accents and I teased Arthur about his "Canadian" one and he teased me about Ohio being hillbilly. Then we had fun teaching Elaine about not only accents, but also about the US and where it's best to live.

"My professor said, 'Holy Shit' like you and I thought, 'That's Jen's accent!'" made me laugh coming from Ying. In fact she's picking up my mannerisms. She's saying, "Jesus" to every thing like I do. Ha.

Entry ?

DREAMS I had the oddest dream, but it actually made sense for once. The set up? Well I was living in a garage, with my bed hear the roll up door, and the carpet was white and cream just like grandma's old carpet. I looked outside my windows and saw new cars on the left and old cars on the right, thinking, "Age divide!" But perhaps it meant the cool, rich kids versus kids that weren't. Anyway, I saw a whole van go by with all the cool kids from the left living quarters, driven by an Indian looking guy who was afraid he'd hit the right side of my garage. I was sad, so I went through the side door on the back wall and found my dad going through the mail. "You're scholarship went through," he told me holding up a freebie packet of diapers. I told him I don't have a scholarship, and I thought the diapers would be good for Carmen's pending child. Meaning? It's my life in the bungies. I'm stuck bored while watching others have fun. It makes me jealous. And the cars were in the right place accroding to where they park here as well.

So supposedly this girl on ThoseGypsies can draw our fairies and I tried it twice, with different account names, to see if I got the same deal. They both talk of singing, but that's just basic. Oh well, I liked the star one best.

and the message:
"hey beautiful, do you sing in the mornings?"

and the message:
"oh joyous one!
the stars sing your name
how blessed you are"
~x~

Entry ?

BEST FRIEND Why is it starting up again? A couple of months ago he could go a couple of weeks without emailing me and it wouldn't get to me. Now I'm noticing again. I spoke to him on Sunday and maybe I'm worried because I think I messed up that call for him. It's just that when we talked, he said he'd be at his mom's for another day (Monday) and then be back at his Dad's. Which means that starting Tuesday he should've already emailed me the photo he himself said he'd do or ask for my address to send me that chocolate bar that he himself came up with doing. So I don't get it. Really, I don't.

UNI RESIDENTS Mike makes it worth it, he really does. All I asked was, "Do you hate people?" when he flipped off a co-worker in a frustrated and half-joking way. Then ike always, Mike got to talking about if I went to see Aslihan (he remembers??) and then about trading. It was fun as always, but this time it was busy and he had to get to work: "Okay, I have to get back to work." I wish it could've lasted longer, but there's always other times.

Entry ?

UNI RESIDENTS Bond has a nice area called the Cerum Theater where there are cream couches and rouge couches where you can use the wireless internet. And so every so often I will sit there because it's peaceful and rarely people go by unless they have a class in the theater. Not to forget that there's a huge wall of just windows which lets in lots of natural lighting and doesn't sufforcate me or make me feel like I'm in a drabby place.

And so sitting there means there's a potencial to run into people, which means I ran into a friend of Art's who talks to me...Peter, the German. Blond curly hair, stares when you talk to him, and glasses. But it was easy since it was only 7 minutes before he went to class and in fact I was making it continue with my questions. I like easy conversations.

We had our weekly entrepreneurship meeting, which is now fun. It's getting easier for me because I don't feel like I'm not as smart as them. I realize that I'm just as good, just not as experienced, that's all. Now I love going because of May's laugh, Nash's life stories, and Dino's smile.

YING Happiest soon turned to frustration when I ran into Ying at dinner while in line. She asked if I wanted to eat there, and I told her the truth: no. No more putting my comfort in line for her happiness. She never bothers for me, now does she? Naturally she took this to act like a five year old and speedwalk around the place for attention as if she's in a massive hury to get out of there. I laughed in my head at her and ignored her. "Your phone doesn't ring," her messed up English sentence said to me as she passed. "I had a group meeting, like every Wednesday, I told you that." Stop acting like I sit in my room doing nothing!

Entry ?

skipped class
rest in pda

Entry ?

IFM exam
HRM - meh. got back at Ying take over.
art came and got after text.
mike: head about little girl, i not too clingy
ash: lots of laughing, suckying up, choco
alexx2
pam
german
(she may be too easy! and said again and all say that)

Entry ?

sun:
called gaz! in paper j on that one. +xeolo phone bday play next year. +he will send me a picture this week, and chocs this coming week, and aw!
then study...
and art called for 15min and think just wanted to tlak. less nervous with him than gaz, why?
darrlyl stiffed, but meh. nice girl laughed with afterwards.

Entry ?

It's Saturday and Stephen came to get me so we could study with Arthur. CULTURE And somehow while we were waiting for Arthur we started talking about the US and Australia, which made me feel good. I was well informed of both and had strong arguments, which means I've been still good with keeping up on my Aussie culture education.

UNI CLASSWORK I felt guilty that I didn't contact Mike yet, so I texted him to meet up and he showed up ten minutes later. He tried flirting but I wasn't having much of it, since I don't want to seem desperate after Tuesday's happenings. And when we all parted, it was just so "meh". We were happy and said our goodbyes, but nothing special. I felt weird because Mike rather study on his own than with me and Arthur. So there we were under the library dome talking rapidly and then departing as I was walking down the large steps back to the bungies.

Entry ?

DREAMS Last night I kept dreaming random things about Mike, and how I've finally got attached, which is not good considering I've leaving in two months. Part of me wants to chase after him and the rest of me is scared still. Why couldn't this happen earlier? But at least it happened!

UNI CLASSWORK Not much today in comparison to Tuesday except for a meeting for IFM, which Mike seemingly "forgot" about. Which meant that Stephen dropped into the Bungies to get me, and of course we couldn't find Arthur because he's slow and doesn't think to text people with where he is when he's supposed to be somewhere else. I had to endure Stephen for an hour with us trying to keep conversation going because when we're alone and there's nothing to talk about, we struggle. And when Art showed up, it's like someone poked us and we came to life.

Meanwhile Elaine walked by twice to which I ignored her and she ignored me, so it kind of made me feel empowering to not care. Because really, I do care in a way, but when it comes down to it, all I care about is having one less friend. Not her per se.

The great thing about Stephen is though, that he does teach us what we didn't learn in class and I actually listen and ask questions since it's just the three of us. It makes studying much easier and better for me.

CULTURE I took a break for lunch and ran down there only to be greeted by massive amounts of muslims girls. It was awkward only because I'm rarely around them and yet here they are in massive amounts this semester. Although it's great because that means I'm finally in contact with that culture. At the dessert counter there was Megan who said, "I prepared this earlier just for you" because she makes me laugh. Not bad for someone who I thought was a bitch last semester. A cultural lesson I learned long ago (that it takes a while for Aussie women to warm up to American girls) is still true.

ADVICE Stephen is always full of it. About how I should stand up from the start to prevent people walking over me (and then when I do stand up for myself they think I'm suddenly a bitch). And how "You're only worth what you think you're worth." And how I can do anything I want. And how I need confidence to just go in there and do it (if you act like you belong, they will believe it). JOB He told me that, yes, we learn on the job. Uni does not prepare you except for a foundation and discipline. And that I'm detailed oriented, so I need details before I start something or else I worry.

Talking with people these days, especially to Stephen, makes me realize that life experiences and reading the news does help so much when it comes to conversations. I feel smarter and I can talk about so much more now.

YING & LITTLE PLEASURES Finally at lunch I ran into Ying, unfortunately, and we were both surprisingly nice. She asked if I'd get take-away and of course I said yes, knowing she wanted me to invite her to eat with me, but I refused. Naturally she went off on her own despite me making small talk and stalked like a little kid when I stayed to talk to Mike about class. We talked for twenty minutes until he really had to go back to work (group work, exams, studying, Arthur's weirdness), during which he went out of his way to give me his number again (even though it's only for his personal use to have me call about when Stephen's "teaching" us again). Despite that, it still made me feel good for him to treat me so nicely. I'm not being used, as we're already friends, so it's okay. And turning out of instinct to see Ying staring as she ate her soup before she left was just pure gold. She's so jealous that it's easy to piss her off. Before I left he joked some more with me and then I was off to eat.

Entry ?

UNI RESIDENTS Art visited me again, even though I don't like it, and this time I was much nicer. When he started last semester I was lonely and so I craved it, but then he started getting creepy. He started staring at things in my room and staring at me in a 32 year old virgin way. (This is why Mormons should not exist).

TRAVEL It was a nice distraction though, because he came to invite me with him and Stephen to the cafe, where we sat and talked for a little bit. After talking to Art I realized how silly I've been and if I had networked stronger, than I could've been five years down the road and visiting friends in each country of the world. And yes I know someone from almost every continent, but I'm still not good enough friends to call them up and visit. It actually made me sad and want to redo the last four semesters.

I find that I don't care if people see me with them anymore. Yes, they're odd looking and older, but meh. And best part was, when I got back to my room, Gaz had emailed me. So naturally I was excited.

Then Arthur asked if I wanted to stay and study with him, which I'm still believing is his way of just being around a girl. And I still said yes, and it upset me that once again he just used it as an excuse to talk and stare at me and other girls. Yes, he can't focus and has a learning disability, but really? He's not mentally retarded. Come on! This is why I'm happy I'm not a virgin, or else I'd be like him-- staring at the opposite sex and making disgusting remarks.

In fact, I got so upset that I told him straight out, "I'm going back to the bungies to watch Big Brother." I think he got the hint.

I need to stand up for myself more. Say it like it is.

Entry ?

GREAT PLEASURES Wednesdays are usually slow or boring and today the Brasserie was slow as well. When I walked in there, absolutely no students were around, and of course I got nervous thinking I wasn't supposed to be in there. Like it was a fluke that the doors were open. And so naturally, as always, I started laughing and I asked, "Where is everyone?" to which Megan hugged and danced with me. She said something about keeping me company. I was laughing to hard to hear or remember. What makes this memorable is that Megan barely knows me really, and yet she's one of those people I envy who don't think twice and can make people feel loved somehow.

I went to get my dessert and of course Mike is there, just because he seems to always be in a place where I can talk to him. And so we were there for ten minutes talking, just stuff about class and how his manager "hates him" (why does he always tell me stuff from his life? A friend does that, I guess but I always saw as him only as someone to flirt with). He did something to fake peeve me, and so I joked that I hated him, and he said, "You love me!" again like he did in class yesterday as he went to serve a student. I wish I had more friends like him, or that I could know him beyond this place, but unfortunately in two months that will end.

UNI CLASSWORK my first meeting was with Ash and Ying, which was unpleasant in theory, but not so bad in practice. Ash was nice as always, seeing as she's a good aquaintance who gets just close enough, but never enough for me to dislike her. I can never stay friends with females for very long or else I start wanting to choke them because of their constant bullshit and difficulties. They always end up using me or getting too close and sufforcating me. With this in mind, Ash surprised me in a way. Like Mike and most like him, she just says and does what she pleases and people just go "okay" about it without arguging. So when she said, "I'm going to the U.S. and I'll visit you," it too me off guard since we're not that close. And if I were her, I would've danced around the issue or just asked instead of telling.

My second meeting was good in a bad way. This time I did all my work before hand so they don't think I'm doing nothing since I freeze up around them. That's fine and May liked it. However, that also meant they mooched off me and May still gave me the biggest part to do as "homework" for the next meeting. Naturally I was pissed off. Not at her since it's impossible to be mad at her, but that I had to do it after typing four pages of a four page requirement already by myself.


Mike's email for our IFM group made me laugh:

Entry ?.

Tuesday means Entrepreneurship and then my tutorial for International Finance. Entrepreneurship was nothing significant, but international finance definitely was. Mike and I have known each other for over a year, but we've never been this close until this semester and he's never joked with me in this way before. And let's just say it was two hours of him flirting with me and me just blushing. It was all in fun, but then I started taking it seriously, and therefore I had to bring myself back down again to reality.

It started with him walking in ten minutes after the start and saying pretty loudly, "Hey, Jen!" Then he worked with the photos below, going back and forth. He non-stopped talked to me. Was very giddy, and even made me giggle when he schootched his chair towards mine until they were touching just to be closer to me. He kept leaning into to talk, shared with me some of this gum, his hands shook, and he kept giving a flirting and nervous smile.

I wish it could be serious, but I think he was just in a happy, flirty mood unfortunately.

After the tutorial he calmed down and we had a serious talk about our group project. We instinctively went one direction towards the bungies and market square, with Arthur running to catch up (such a five year old, and he's like 32!). Mike asked why I'm with Stephen yet again when he's constantly doing bad things to our group work and I made a funny: "Because I like being fucked?" as in "fucked over." I felt witty for once.

Entry ?

GREAT PLEASURE  This is a great pleasure because it's a bunch of little pleasures added up. Mike and I were non-stop giving each other attention, smiling, laughing, joking, and borderline flirting and it made me so giggly and happy beyond belief.  Why can't I feel that more often?  It got an excellent start with Mike coming in and saying, "Hello, Jen!" because I love when people say my name considering they rarely say it.  Of course he sat next to me, where we non-stop talked basically even though we were in class.  And he was so excited to show me his drawings, which are just like Gaz's with the small and rough lines that combine in pen marks to make a photo, and I joked with him in general.  It was like he truly enjoyed it, that was the difference.  Like we were close friends sharing secrets and fun.  

"Come on, you're holding me up!" he joked as he pushed me forward, the first time he's touched me ever.  All three of them joked about how they care about me and I told them that my life would be boring without them as we walked to the couch for our meeting.  And I pulled out my iTouch cozy without much thought and Mike said, "What's that!"  So they joked about it and he was so adament about naming it that he named it "Eskimo."  I thought that was adorable actually.  So this is life with other guys than Gaz?  He kept hi-5ing me when he like something I said.  So three touches in one day, for the first time ever.  I LOVED it.  

After IFM and our little mini meeting, I had my IHRM class.  Besides walking in and smiling like a dope and saying hi to Vishen, it was nothing out of the usual as I was still ignoring Ying for being a pain in the ass, and the professor was still being not so nice to me for no reason.  I come in smiling and saying hello and all he can do is stare blankly and say, "Hi" even though he's more cheerful towards others??  I'm not taking it too personal though, because really it doesn't matter in the end. 

LIFE HERE  At lunch I ran into Elliot from bungie 2 who moved to bungie 7.  He punched my arm in a friendly gesture even though we've only had maybe two conversations, and people I know better hardly do that, making me think how easy it is for some to make others feel like they are important.  And when I went to get my food Jesse knew take-away as always, and he knew the meatball sub just because I was standing in front of it.  Comfort of no words.  

On the way back to the bungies I saw a heart shaped cloud and smiled.  And I read, "Catch up on some zeds" and just giggled.  Then I saw this:  Queensland is running ads asking Queenslanders to kill any and all fire ants they find.  I thought it was a joke when they said they'd offer a $500 award if you report a nest, and then they called it a bio security measure...and I've just never seen anything like that.   They are sooooooo anal here.

Entry ?

YING I was nice and she was nice, and so dinner wasn't bad at all. As usual I was doing the most talking, but this time it wasn't because I was bragging or being the centre of attention. I was just long winded with my answers, that's all. Plus I'm tired of her sabotaging my happiness. She repeatedly tries to discourage me and Gareth (just me and Gaz's FRIENDSHIP!) and tries to one-up me with Mike. Jealous, much? But I let her have it. I don't mess around any more.

GREAT PLEASURE knowing Gaz will email soon and then my Sunday convos with Mike. I ran into him as I was getting a second fork, and he was standing there watching the plasma TV. I smiled at him and he smiled at me. He had his sleeves rolled up so I teased him about his "muscles" and he laughed and joked back. And that's when he got talking. I gave him a, "What are you doing look?" and he said in response, "I'm watching gladiators. What did you watch as a kid?" It's just little flirting instances like this one that I adore.

Entry ?

Woke up at 12pm partly because I'm stressed and exhausted and still sick, and partly because I stayed up until around 3am. It's a curse. (CHANGE) I'm worrying about my first real job. How will I get past the interview, and even if I do, how do I know what to do? How do I apply what little I've learned? Does a degree really prepare you for a job?

Anyway, I did feel better the little time I was walking outside because the sun is so bright here that it just instantly cheers you up.