Entry THIRTY-SIX

Class makes me tired. I went to bed at two am thinking I could easily get up at 6am, only to wake to a bunch of talking and thinking, "everyone is up at seven am?" It was half past eleven, and I was so upset I slept so much. Still tired, my eye ache, and I haven't been able to get much done except to buy my two course books. That's it. I hope Bear emails me because it's been two days and this is the pattern. Every second day. Please email me even though I missed my eleven-eleven wish! I hiccuped and I hope that's a good sign. This as the heat sticks to me and I feel the weight of my dark clothes. I'm not cute enough to dress like them, I feel odd. Once I'm finished with my masters, will I feel special, different? Those will PhDs like to flaunt it, so will I have that with my masters? None of my friends from LEC have one! I should feel good. Then this thought came: maybe he'll actually acknowledge my birthday on time this year. Not get me anything I know, but at least remember.

ADVICE The girl, the young snotty brunette, took care of me and didn't bother acknowledging me, so for now on I will do the same. I won't even say hello.

INVITES Elaine, my new Chinese friend, called about the meals and I'm glad that she calls about questions like that. Must mean she's not that close to anyone, which is great considering I'm not that way another either when it comes to campus. She asked me to call when I'm studying so we can do it in the library, and I said for sure. So come next week we should do that!

The heat is getting better, but I still don't like. Buy fresh fruit as often as I can to get some cold juices in my stomach in an attempt to mellow out the hot tea I need for a caffeine rush. Sounds of summer, helicopters buzzing and 'brrr brrr' ahead. Construction workers with their backup beeping from their large trucks. Shovels, machinery. I want to close my window but I can't because I'm trying to not use the A/C. It's not so bad having open windows as I can people watch and hear their somewhat private conversations, which keeps me busy as I'm locked up inside.

IM/Text/Email You're such a dork with your dorky smile, warm feeling inside, and beating heart as your slowly read the email you sent him and you happen to receive his reply. I was calm about it, but worried before the notification knowing that I won't hear from him over the weekend. So, thank you.

After receiving a still unread email from him and pleasing myself as the yank walked from the common room, I was ready to start reading some of my assignments. Get started early, that's what I have to do. Done well so far, but could've done better.

Several hours later, before the day was officially over, I finally opened his email. It wasn't so much from fear but trying to make it last. That, and I'm always afraid it will be so short and boring. Yep, I was right. Nothing special at all except that he got the postcard (surprised he mentioned it), thanked me for the photos (unusual of him), wanted to send me a photo of the tattoo design, and he said he'll write again soon (or he meant me, don't know). Content wise it was short, but I guess he still loves me and is telling me everything considering his life is slow (no lie this time, I experienced it).

So meh, I'm just glad he emailed :)


supposedly means 'Jenny':
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