Entry FIFTY-SEVEN

Woke up to a boy making noise in the common room, which meant I overslept and I didn't get to catch her in the morning. Would that be fun? No, at night would be better after the Malaysians go in their rooms for the night. It's not like I wasted any time either since I woke up 12pm, which isn't too bad. I woke to three emails from Kenny and an email from Melissa, hoping for a Bear one tomorrow.

Barely remember the context, but I believe we were having a tiff and I asked something along the lines of why he put up with me. "You know," he said. In other words, "I love you". He's my Bear.

Ran into Audrey, yet again, and we had the polite and yet nice chitchat we always have. And for once she asked me first how I was.





I like this outfit. It's actually "in"- usually I follow my own style, but this is cute.

The boys were at it agian and I sort of followed Jillian's suit by seeing what was going on by looking out my window. When I went to confront them with an apology to their apology, she was cold but agreed with me. After the ordeal, my heart raced so fast. As written to Gaz, "Know how someone means well by inviting you somewhere, but you know they only half mean it and won't go looking for you if you don't show up? The boys were outside hitting my wall again (YES, those damn balls, every day!) and I looked outside only to find one of them standing right there apologizing. I went out to say it was okay, that it only scares the living shit out of me, and one of the Aussies invited me to a BBQ they were having for the Bungalows. I said it sounded great, but I knew they wouldn't be bothered and I would have to go myself (something I don't do. I need a push). As much as I complain about not getting close to these people, I just can't be bothered because I love the friends I have, you know? (But I really do need to get over social phobia- I need to pretend I'm in Hargraves and nothing anyone can say or do will hurt me). "

DISCOVERED what upsets me the most is that I have a best friend who is a male, and yet can't find a boy to love me and marry me down the road.

Also, I discovered a bit ago that I don't want to live here long-term. I only want Gaz, and he doesn't even want to be here. When I told him that little discussion (which I have to look up again), it led him to saying, no, not Canada, but America.