Woke up at 11:12, which means I should get my wish still; how am I doing this? I love that. It was so hot and sticky that I stayed in bed when my first alarm went off (8am) and while I was in that state managed to put the heat on by accident, only making it worse. Sticky, spread out. That afternoon Miss Bikini sat at the picnic bench with the big Aussie, making me jealous that she has so many guy friends right from the start and boobs as well.
BEST FRIEND He emailed me this afternoon and I was happy (not excited, just pleased) until I read it and it was nothing special. Or in other words, he didn't mention the Gold Coast. Should be happy that he took time on a Saturday again to email me, right? Right. I just miss flirty Gareth. In fact, he doesn't make me happy much any more. I don't think I love him any more. I don't get excited when he emails, I don't get excited to email him, and he rarely says something to make me smile. I know I probably don't for him either though. I try at least.
Does he even appreciate me? I think that's why I don't "love him anymore" and he doesn't "excite" me anymore.
I replied to him and during it I cried a lot; not audible but in a satisfying way. Then I remembered that he doesn't want me to go either, but he's not worrying about it now since it's a year away and it's painful. TRAVEL And he, on his own, said he wanted to come up here when I asked him to Tasmania. I have to let him do this. Meanwhile I plan a trip in December and if he doesn't come up by then, I go to see him on my way to or from the trip.
GESTURES Why wasn't the South African not smiling for the second week in a row? Next Saturday I will make it a point to ask him how his semester is going. I just didn't this week because I thought maybe he wasn't smiling because he didn't want to "flirt"? I want to do for him what he's done for me!
LIFE HERE she wants us to be more open and more "homely"...so I tried sitting in the common room. It lasted an hour since I was so hot and tired of waiting for her to walk in. Instead I was in my room with my door open, figuring she had to go by sometime. Okay, to be more clear, I overheard her whispering a reply to some guy who said over and over, "This does not look like a common room." I don't know if she was talking about me, but I know she doesn't talk about the Malaysians, and I do try to talk to her. I must make more of an effort since she's been so much nicer.
It didn't work, but I will keep trying.
The good of it is I overcame to shortcomings: how I don't sit in the common room and how I always close my door. I forced myself in the common room where I then was able to get some work done...there was no internet to distract me.
IM/Text/Email/Post First of all, Jess and Pearly has disappointed me. I thought Pearly and I would make a comeback, full of us visiting each other, but it doesn't look like it. And Jess? She seemed sort of standoff-ish in her facebook message. But what can I do? I'll keep up with Jess through facebook and hope for the best.
Now Bear's latest email.
"I think the general gyst of the messages was," in response of me asking what I had missed.
"You can see it when it's done properly." He wants to show me, aw. I hadn't asked this time
"What else...Um," half way through he's trying to come up with more stuff. Aw.
"I think I also complained about how sick I've been too, but then I'm always doing that...I think there's only one thing that'll stop that, and I don't think I'm going to die anytime soon, so sorry." HUH? About how in the last two weeks I've talked about it? "So sorry"??
"I always promise I'll go to the doctor but I always feel so drained and disconnected all the way through, and by the time i get better again (I'm feeling pretty good today by the way)" in response to asking if he had found a doctor, to show I care about him.
(He doesn't talk about the photo I sent; that made me feel weird. I thought it was cute).
"Anyway, that should be a bunch of interesting tales, there's nothing more just now...sadly.
Bye bye,
I'll try to enjoy my smooth shaven face and stuff.
Gareth"
Usually he tells me there's more to come or how he's talk to me soon; this time it's about him. However, the first line does sort of make up for it. Like he wants to write more, but can't.
LIFE HERE she wants us to be more open and more "homely"...so I tried sitting in the common room. It lasted an hour since I was so hot and tired of waiting for her to walk in. Instead I was in my room with my door open, figuring she had to go by sometime. Okay, to be more clear, I overheard her whispering a reply to some guy who said over and over, "This does not look like a common room." I don't know if she was talking about me, but I know she doesn't talk about the Malaysians, and I do try to talk to her. I must make more of an effort since she's been so much nicer.
It didn't work, but I will keep trying.
The good of it is I overcame to shortcomings: how I don't sit in the common room and how I always close my door. I forced myself in the common room where I then was able to get some work done...there was no internet to distract me.
IM/Text/Email/Post First of all, Jess and Pearly has disappointed me. I thought Pearly and I would make a comeback, full of us visiting each other, but it doesn't look like it. And Jess? She seemed sort of standoff-ish in her facebook message. But what can I do? I'll keep up with Jess through facebook and hope for the best.
Now Bear's latest email.
"I think the general gyst of the messages was," in response of me asking what I had missed.
"You can see it when it's done properly." He wants to show me, aw. I hadn't asked this time
"What else...Um," half way through he's trying to come up with more stuff. Aw.
"I think I also complained about how sick I've been too, but then I'm always doing that...I think there's only one thing that'll stop that, and I don't think I'm going to die anytime soon, so sorry." HUH? About how in the last two weeks I've talked about it? "So sorry"??
"I always promise I'll go to the doctor but I always feel so drained and disconnected all the way through, and by the time i get better again (I'm feeling pretty good today by the way)" in response to asking if he had found a doctor, to show I care about him.
(He doesn't talk about the photo I sent; that made me feel weird. I thought it was cute).
"Anyway, that should be a bunch of interesting tales, there's nothing more just now...sadly.
Bye bye,
I'll try to enjoy my smooth shaven face and stuff.
Gareth"
Usually he tells me there's more to come or how he's talk to me soon; this time it's about him. However, the first line does sort of make up for it. Like he wants to write more, but can't.
