BEST FRIEND I was upset by his boring email, and questioning if he wanted to travel with me even though he brought it up himself at the start. Because even though I know him, and know he won't say it right out, I know question it ever since Sam entered and stirred it up. Knowing he's in love with her pissed me off, hurt me, and know I could care less- but he still values her way too much.
I stirred most of the night about it, even writing semi-snarky stuff. But when I woke up I was calm and collected and checked his email account. I read the email Sam wrote him and it was about her being pissed he said he would visit her and then he never did, three months on. So he even does it to a girl he's in love with. That made me feel better. What sort of pissed me off was reading his response: "When would you like me to come?" Not excited, and yet he said he would come directly. But with me, he didn't say that. He just said that he will during break and so forth. So which is better? Who knows. Who cares.
I give up on him. My love is so small, so remote, that not much can hurt me any more when it comes to him.
UNI RESIDENTS I went to find Arthur to ask him about registration, listening to my music and loving the sun. I find comfort in knowing where to find him. And when I did Stephen was there, who pulled a chair close, and made me sit next to him as he gave me my astrology profile. Most of the things were dead on. About how I'm not happy if I don't get exactly what I picture. About how I always look at the bad and bring it out on people. It was pretty much scary.
I went to see Helen, since I failed the midterm, and she belittled me. She mocked me. She made me so upset that I went home and wanted nothing but Gareth or Mom. She's a British prude who cuts people with her words. And what can I do? I can't piss off someone in control of my marks. But that's a lesson: Brit women are worse than Aussie women. Wow. Thankfully my entire class agrees as well.
After that I had another meeting with my marketing group, and Shivang was actually hilarious and funny and enjoyable to talk to. Why have I not seen this before? Now I get his humour maybe. Now I realize that he just likes to poke at you and be blunt.
UNI CLASSWORK I had my presentation and I wasn't nervous and I don't think it showed either, so I felt great about that. What I didn't feel great about was the actual material and if it at least semi=pleased Brit Prude Helen.
Then the Aussie got up to present and I just felt this immense pride that I have one of those of my own. And when I got home I eamield him even thoguth I wanted to put it off for a few days because he's just frustrating and has too much of a hold on me. But knowing I have an Aussie after three years, someone who loves me, just made my heart swell.
AdVICE {This is taken from someone else who wrote in on a livejournal friend's page}
Sometimes people just grow apart, and become people that we don't need in our lives.
Good riddance, if he's going to belittle you like that. The only people who deserve to be in your life are the people who love you and support you unconditionally, who love the shit out of you, because that's what you deserve.
It sucks so much to lose someone you love and who was so important to you once upon a time, but he dug himself into this grave, and you are so much more and better than he will ever, ever know.
I stirred most of the night about it, even writing semi-snarky stuff. But when I woke up I was calm and collected and checked his email account. I read the email Sam wrote him and it was about her being pissed he said he would visit her and then he never did, three months on. So he even does it to a girl he's in love with. That made me feel better. What sort of pissed me off was reading his response: "When would you like me to come?" Not excited, and yet he said he would come directly. But with me, he didn't say that. He just said that he will during break and so forth. So which is better? Who knows. Who cares.
I give up on him. My love is so small, so remote, that not much can hurt me any more when it comes to him.
UNI RESIDENTS I went to find Arthur to ask him about registration, listening to my music and loving the sun. I find comfort in knowing where to find him. And when I did Stephen was there, who pulled a chair close, and made me sit next to him as he gave me my astrology profile. Most of the things were dead on. About how I'm not happy if I don't get exactly what I picture. About how I always look at the bad and bring it out on people. It was pretty much scary.
I went to see Helen, since I failed the midterm, and she belittled me. She mocked me. She made me so upset that I went home and wanted nothing but Gareth or Mom. She's a British prude who cuts people with her words. And what can I do? I can't piss off someone in control of my marks. But that's a lesson: Brit women are worse than Aussie women. Wow. Thankfully my entire class agrees as well.
After that I had another meeting with my marketing group, and Shivang was actually hilarious and funny and enjoyable to talk to. Why have I not seen this before? Now I get his humour maybe. Now I realize that he just likes to poke at you and be blunt.
UNI CLASSWORK I had my presentation and I wasn't nervous and I don't think it showed either, so I felt great about that. What I didn't feel great about was the actual material and if it at least semi=pleased Brit Prude Helen.
Then the Aussie got up to present and I just felt this immense pride that I have one of those of my own. And when I got home I eamield him even thoguth I wanted to put it off for a few days because he's just frustrating and has too much of a hold on me. But knowing I have an Aussie after three years, someone who loves me, just made my heart swell.
AdVICE {This is taken from someone else who wrote in on a livejournal friend's page}
Sometimes people just grow apart, and become people that we don't need in our lives.
Good riddance, if he's going to belittle you like that. The only people who deserve to be in your life are the people who love you and support you unconditionally, who love the shit out of you, because that's what you deserve.
It sucks so much to lose someone you love and who was so important to you once upon a time, but he dug himself into this grave, and you are so much more and better than he will ever, ever know.
