Thursday 13 March 2008

Entry TWO-HUNDRED-THIRTEEN

RESOLUTIONS; My weekly resolution almost stands. Except for one day, I've gone on at least a decent walk around campus to get out and today was an unplanned one with Arthur and Stephen. I ran into them and before I knew it I was tagging along around Lake Orr, soaking in the sun.

EMAIL & TRAVEL; Hmm, looky there-- jobs in Brissy, Gaz? Haven't I been telling you to come here for a year now?

  • And this really hurt me at first, considering he makes a lot of mistakes himself: "Couldn't care less, couldn't care less...("could care less" means you actually 'could' care less...and I'm being a pain in the arse)."
  • But the truly best part? I quickly read over it and it didn't really hit me at first since he's hurt me a lot these past few months. It's like he's using me for travel and that's it. And so I just went, "Sure, yeah, as if you'd want to" about it. But then I thought that he had the guts to say it, so here it is: "The real Australia...I'll see it one day too. Maybe if you write down a list of all the possibilities you could explore and look at it every now and then, a plan'll develop? (and maybe, just maybe I'll have my shit together...or a little bit of it anyway)."
  • And then I noticed he was back to his joking and caring ways, which he hasn't been like for a bit now. Is it because he cares more about me? Or because he's happier? Or because Sam's gone again? "10%!...phew, nothing to worry about" made me feel much better. Then more loveliness: "Yay, your life monotonous too! We can whinge together (it's so much more fun when there's someone else)."
  • Then he finished it with the salutation I hate, but with a redeemer at the end: "Bye-bye for today, Gareth."

UNI RESIDENTS Arthur is nice and gives me a lot by helping with stats, but then he expects me to do it all and figure it out while he watches people walk past. I don't get it.  I understand he has a learning disability, but I'm not sure what it is.  Maybe he can't stay focused?  I am somewhat understanding, but I wish I could be more.  

Regardless I went back to see him that afternoon to work on stats only to run into Stephen and him walking towards me.  Talk about timing.  After our walk from above I went to the career fair with them and left because I can't network and I'm just timid.  That's when I ran into Ashnita who sat with me and I learned something.  We will never get far as friends.  We are, but we aren't.  I was telling her semi-personal information about how I don't know what to do with my degree and her reply was to go to the library.  

I'm still learning with social situations.  I thought she wanted help with stats and I was waiting for her to say something, but thankfully arthur arrived and saved the tension and uncertainty.  He's outgoing like that.

I texted Ashnita for the first time and emailed May for the first time.  It was a day of newness.  I got Ash's number when she asked to meet us for stats and I got May's email when she asked for an old assignment of mine.

At lunch Megan, the cool and sometimes snarky Aussie but otherwise nice one, was finally joking after a long time of not with me.  She told me how everyone is ignoring me and she came to save me.  But then after that...the cute Aussie blond?  He started talking out of nowhere to me, which is unusual for the two of us.  It was just that nice.  I was smiling all the way to my bungie.  When I make more Aussie "friends" it makes me feel better.